Here I Go (story assignment based on "Innocent Feathers" and "Sailor Jupiter Moves Out" scene assignments)

The illuminating eye rested between two islands. It was draining its energy bit by bit as it sank down beneath the horizon. Nothing got better than chilling at Tanjung Aru beach on a Sunday evening.

“Daddy, can I have some more of the coconut water please?” I asked.

Peter grinned and handed his six-years-old daughter a big, green coconut with a straw inserted through a rough sliced opening. I sat the delicious fruit on my lap and took a long gradual sip of the sweet, refreshing fluid from its inner shell. My taste buds leaped to paradise as the honey-like flavour, colourless water traveled from the tip of the straw to my mouth.

“It’s a beautiful view from here, isn’t it?” my mother, Helen smiled.

She gazed at the calm ocean in front of us. After the sip, I breathed in the rich salty air and wiggled the soft brown sand off my toes. The sun was a pale lemon with amber shades painted the sky; the waves were a glossy reflection of the sunset’s hues. This was where I wanted to be, lying on the wooden beach chairs with my beloved parents while indulging in the Malaysian awarding scenery…

BANG! The sound of a gun wakes me up from my dream. Reality immediately hit against me like a tidal wave. Instead of looking at the evening beauty from the same spot, I turn my back to where the resort is located. Another gunshot echoes from the first floor of the hotel.What’s happening? That doesn’t sound like fireworks! A warm breeze suddenly whooshes against me that carry my high ponytail to float in midair. It is fast and rough like a charging stallion; it sends my back tingling like an electric shock.

I immediately sprint to the hotel and up a spiral staircase. As I reach to the second floor which is the lobby, I feel like the building is going to collapse into a cluster of debris. A woman in a purple T-shirt and a white maxi skirt lies motionless on the marble floor. The shirt is stained by a heavy crimson colour; it travels down onto her skirt before ending into a pool on the floor. I recognize the length of the woman’s hair from the back. Spikes of a hedgehog begin to crawl on my back as I get closer to the victim. Once I walk to the front, I can’t believe my own eyes. Helen Lin, my dear mother, has lost her next second of life.

From my back, I hear a sinister laugh. Mason, my stepfather is leaning against the concierge desk with a black gun in his right hand. His eyes are a demon black.

“I thought you’re in jail!” I exclaim in disbelief.

The psycho twirls his gun playfully before tucking it into the pocket of his brown trousers.

“That’s partially correct,” he replies, “but I didn’t end up in those shitty police cars.”

“What are you talking about?” I gasp, “I saw you got arrested with those men behind my school yesterday.”

“You were there, weren’t you?” he frowns, “I didn’t expect you to ruin my match.”

“Listen, Mason! I don’t know what you’re up to but you’ve done a whole lot of crap. You use animals as violent entertainment and you quit your job just to go to clubs every night.” I spill out, “I even see you slapping my mother and asking her to give you her allowance just to buy beer.”

“So what? I don’t even give a damn about everything.” He fishes into his other pocket and takes out a thin bundle of purple 100 Malaysian dollars, “Thanks to your soft-hearted mother, these babies belong to me now.”

He waves the pile of cash in the air as if he has won the lottery. He stops in his sixth wave and spots a note sticking in the pile. I watches him taking it out and reading it with a numb expression.

“I knew it! It’s just a piece of junk!” he says and tosses the paper towards me. Without hesitation, I pick it up and read,

            My dear Pheline,

            You’ve grown into an amazing young woman. Now it’s the time for you to find your own journey. No matter what happens, Peter and I will always be by your side and we will be cheering for you as you strive to conquer the mountains and the oceans. I’m glad to say that I’ve finally can save this amount for your new school. Take care and good luck!

Mom

My sight melts into a cloudy view as I struggle to hold back my tears. I wish that this won’t happen so that I can thank her and hug her and remind her that I love her very much…I don’t blame her for marrying Mason in the first place, I am just grateful to see her all smiling and spreading her love constantly to me and my dad. If only she can be resurrected…if only I can see her precious, reassuring smile again…

Blood race madly in my veins as I stare at Mason, feeling like a grenade prepared to blast his hideous, horrible smirk. He pulls out his gun again and points at me. He is about to shoot when I suddenly dodge away and grab hold of his hand. With a quick move illustrated automatically in my head, I kick him in the stomach and punch him in the face. Behind me, a semicircle of bewildered foreigners are staring and gasping like spectators in a circus.

“I bet you don’t know that I have a black belt in karate, asshole!”

As I am about to reach for the gun he has dropped, he grits his teeth and snatches it from his side. He aims his weapon at me, ready to fire.

“Hold it right there!” a policeman approaches from nowhere.

A few more policemen run up from a flight of stairs with guns rested on the top of their shoulder.

“You’re under arrest,” the policeman says, “Drop your weapon please!”

Mason raises his hands up for half a second. He suddenly makes a dash away from the concierge table and down to the spiral stairs to the bottom floor. The lead policeman gets his weapon ready and successfully shoots right at Mason’s back. Seeing the enemy got defeated has caused the cloak of shame and misery to be taken away from my body.

“Pheline! Are you okay?” another voice startles me.

 As I try to lift myself up, my peripheral vision catches a girl with familiar dark brown eyes and silky black hair that reaches to her waist. My best friend, Solange runs towards me when she sees me grasping the table for support.

“Solange! What are you doing here?” I exclaim.

“I was tagging along my uncle Benjamin while suddenly he got an urgent message from his walkie talkie! I’m glad that we arrive on time!” she replies with a relieved smile. I then remember that her uncle is the chief policeman of the Tanjung Aru police headquarters.

Solange helps me to get up. She notices my mother lying in the middle of the lobby and shares the same sorrowful face as I have.

I don’t know whether it’s just me but I can feel Mom’s embrace surrounding me. The world looks better than the episode last night; the sun releases fantastic ribbons of light that automatically heals the small crack in my heart.

Solange shortly walked towards me to give me a comforting hug. It reminds me of how blessed I am to have her who loves me. Her hilarious make-up stories from Big Bang Theory will be my ideal remedy, and I can’t beg for anything better than going away from home with her. Dad is the one who told me first that no matter what situation I am in, there are always people who care for me. After he passed away due to stroke when I was nine, I would always visualize his face to draw his presence in my soul. And now that mom’s gone too, I know that she’s joyfully reunited with dad in the spiritual realm and she’s watching over me to see me hunting for a milestone.

“Ready to go? You wouldn’t want to miss your flight!” she said.

I return her gaze with a smile, “This is it! My own story is about to be written!”

“You already are writing it! You just haven’t got to your real adventure yet!”

She’s right, my story has started but the part where I paint myself with new colours hasn’t arrived.

The sound of an airplane roars behind us. We switch our view from the islands to a Malaysian Airlines mechanical bird which glides above the resort, heading to east. The international airport which is in this direction and fifteen minutes away from the resort signals me to get ready for my trip.

Before we head to the parking lot, I am stopped by a sudden gust of air. This time, the breeze that blows against my face is cool and generous. I look at the nostalgic live postcard, realizing that my parents are saying “good luck” through this natural messenger.  Maybe the warm breeze I felt yesterday was Dad’s warning…

As we walk away from the beach, I swear that I hear sweet laughter chimed from Dad, Mom, and the six-year-old me.

Do I consider myself an adult? (My first thoughts of being 21-October 14 2014)

Life is hard. Living is hard. Even being a human hard. I'm not being negative here, I'm just a little troubled with what people had said of me turning 21, the age of adulthood. I'm not sure whether that's a big deal. I remember a few friends remind me that age is just a number. Age makes me think that I'm getting older and I'm doomed, but that's not what life is about.

I remember an inspirational quote from my favourite fitness instructor Cassey Ho, the Youtuber who is the creator of Blogilates. She says "change is coming". It takes time to improve in something, something I want to commit myself to make the best out of myself. Change plays a big part of life, and it may sounds scary, but it helps me to take steps to a new perspective in discovering myself. To me, change may mean that I've made new friends and forget about my old friends or adapting to a new country and forgetting about my roots. That's not going to happen. Even though I'm in a new year, a new home, and a new chapter of my personal memoir, I'm trying my best to improve myself but also to maintain my personalities and character. It sounds hard, but I hope that I won't be forgotten and to be respected by the new people I meet and connect.

So ask yousrelf, what does the word "change" means to you? Is it good or is it bad?

There are some surprises that approach to me this year. I don't know whether this is a blessing from God or is it his secret to show that something good is happening to my last year of Douglas College.

-My memoir chapter "Rooster Alarm" was shared by five random Google followers! I was super surprised when I first found this out on my dashboard.  This is the first time I got recognition from strangers online (readers who like my work and share them to other people). I would like to say thank you so much to those who are the followers and please keep sharing! It means a lot to me!
http://towardsthesun-beneaththesnow.blogspot.ca/2014/08/rooster-alarm-new-memoir-chapter-about.html

- There is a surprising result of my fiction writing assignment "Innocent Feathers". Turns out that my class loved my piece that I received positive comments with a little bit of feedback about the time jump at the end. And my instructor gave me a full 10 out of 10! I was like...WHOA! How did that happen? This was the first time I got a high mark in creative writing! Like ever! The highest grade I've gotten in my writing courses was an A-! So this A+ gem got me a little flabbergasted but it's also a boost for me to make a good impression on my first full story assignment which is due soon.
http://thetruemichelehii.blogspot.ca/2014/10/innocent-feathers-setting-and-imagery.html
And then, when I took a photo of the result and posted it on my Facebook page (I didn't post it on Instagram because my phone has crappy amount of space), I never knew that I've got the highest number of likes in my entire Facebook history. In just two to three days, my photo was thumbs-ed up by forty plus friends, and I couldn't imagine how supportive my friends and family are. Usually when I post something, the updates are ignored. So when this new phenomenon of my life happens in the blink of an eye, I realize that there will be a time for me to shine. I'm not forever silent or forever isolated. I always feel isolated, but I keep reminding myself that I'm not invisible. If the people I've met pull me off the dark, then I'll remember that I'm loved and needed.

- Surprisingly (again), I've made new friends. Not like acquaintances who I only say hi and say one of two sentences in group work, but people who I can sit with and help out with homework and laugh off at jokes and having a blast learning together. These are the new group of people I'm looking for in Canada, not racism or prejudice or discrimination, but a community who is colour blind and take in one another as family. In Japanese class and Communication class, I've found people who I can push myself to talk. It's actually not a bad thing. Once I'm letting my aegis to crack and hopefully shatter, I'll no longer feel insecure. Sadly, those people comes and goes. Every semester, new people comes in and that makes a whole lot harder if we got separated after four months of seeing and sticking together. I haven't found a new group of people who I call friends for more than a year or even a long period of time like my friends back in Malaysia, but I think there's a chance when I can see those people even when we got separated. I don't like separation, I prefer connection.

Something tells me deep inside that this age is a traditional stereotype that I want to break. I mean "You're 21, that means you're an adult" belief my mother told me...is not entirely true! I'm still having a blurry mind on what's hidden behind the harsh reality. I may be a late bloomer and I don't know when will be the time for me to survive, but I have faith that one day I'll become a shooting star, gliding my way through independence and freedom. I have to admit, I'm still a kid. And here's a guilty pleasure, I hate growing up. But that's something I can't rewind. This is life, and that's how it is. Time is ticking, and I can't possibly beg Peter Pan or Tinker Bell to use magic to turn back time. The only thing to get out of this is to accept where I am and see where time take flight.

So here's something I think it's important in the world today. Don't think in an old-fashion or traditional way. Don't stick to one culture or one norm or even one thing. There are various things to explore and the world is for us to expand our minds and to change our perspectives. When you're in a new environment like me, learn to adapt to it and accept the culture. You'll never know how many years you will live or how much change you've become. Try involve in the "cultural identity search" because different norms or beliefs or even matters can blend in to become your own definition of culture, or even a new version of yourself.

I hope you like reading this new post, and don't forget to live this day, live this life! =)

Btw, thank you all for your birthday wishes! I didn't exactly have made a wish while blowing the candle because I was still too sleepy after cramming with assignments and Japanese exercises for tomorrow's midterm. But if I get to make a wish, I'm looking forward to a new change in myself as well as making the best out of my last year in Douglas College.

Innocent Feathers (Setting and Imagery Assignment for Fiction Writing class-Oct 2014)

The city of Kota Kinabalu was taken over by the ferocious solar sphere in the cloudless blue heaven. Under the typical humid Malaysian weather, I heard noisy chatters behind the school garden. There was a small forest behind Tung Sang Secondary School, and it was rare to see people roaming around that area.

I tiptoed on the grass like a lioness stalking after its prey. While pretending to be a ninja, I was sure I saw my stepdad’s dark blue cap floating across the line of gigantic shady trees.

“Sedia….mula! (Get set….go!) ” a man shouted in Malay.

I hurriedly climbed up the middle tree to get a better view. As I stopped on a firm branch, I felt like I was engulfed by a dark shadow summoned by Sailor Moon’s villian, Queen Beryl. A group of men between ages 20 to 50 formed a large ring, cheering and yelling at a couple of chickens which were on the centre of the human circle. The spectators were all Malay, brown-tanned and big dark brown eyes with translucent hues of excitement and rebel.

One of the chickens was a brilliant orange with black tail feathers. It literally flew in midair and pounced onto its opponent who was a pure white fellow. And right away, I spotted my stepfather, Mason, in his blue cap; he stood a few feet behind the orange and black chicken.

My stepfather’s chicken flapped its wings like a hummingbird while lifting its boney legs off the ground. It kicked right at its opponent’s breast. A white star suddenly gleamed on the chicken’s left leg. I squinted to take a closer look. Did I just saw something metal? The sun was kind enough to reflect a beam of light onto the object tied around its right leg. Sure enough, a freshly-sharpened curvy blade was attached at the back of the leg. That was just cruel! Why would people do something inhumane? And the next thing I knew, the white chicken had an artificial spur tied around each leg as well. If this was Satan’s strategy to turn men evil towards animals, then I had to do something…for God’s sake!

I looked up into the sky and murmured, “What should I do, Lord? Should I get the principal or crash into the match to grab the chickens?” I looked at the horrific sight again and hoped that I would hear a holy whisper. The sun radiated its summer heat that made the scene to look like a mirage in the middle of the Sahara desert. And I thought I had this big splat of sweat stained on the back of my school uniform. But, the tropical weather wasn’t the only thing that caused me to be drenched in the icky, stinky colourless paint. I couldn’t stand watching the white chicken suddenly gather courage to kick the other candidate; it even used its beak to poke at the opponent’s head. Mason’s city-known champion swiftly kicked its target’s breast once more, leaving a tiny stream of blood.

            “Pheline Wong? What are you doing up there?” a voice startled me.

I immediately turned around to see whether it was one of those nasty junior boys who liked hitting on senior girls. To my relief, Principal Matthew Liu was standing near a big rose bush in the garden. Suddenly, my right foot nearly slipped and I quickly grabbed hold on the tree trunk to keep myself standing on the branch.

“Are you okay?” the school’s “Second Father” gasped.

“Y…yeah!” I replied.

The cockfight match was way too loud that I believe the students in the nearby classrooms could hear it. Principal Matthew came near the wall of trees and looked at me with his eyebrows raised in curiosity. Could it be that God has arranged all this to help me? Oh wait…that’s it!

“Can you guys carry on with what you’re doing somewhere else?” he asked as he walked through a small wire gate between the school fences.

The crowd turned their heads with their annoyed masks on. As I crouched behind them, I saw my stepfather stepping forward with arms akimbo. I removed the blades from the chickens, and held them under my arms.

“You’re under arrest!” a different voice froze the atmosphere.

I shielded my eyes from the blinding sunlight with my right palm. A policeman stood next to Principal Matthew.  I looked at clumps of chicken feathers scattered on the forest soil; the trees surrounded me with a grateful embrace. 

Michele's DIY Realm:Fall Cove (Maple Leaf Bookmarks, Doorknob Hangers, and Decorative Platters)

Hi, everyone! Fall is officially here and I'll be making THREE new DIY projects out of...MAPLE LEAVES!!! I know that it's a rare thing to see a list of DIY things made out of maple leaves but I'm gonna try to make bookmarks, doorknob hangers, and decorative platters (as I call it) or pictures out of colourful maple leaves. Canadians, I don't know whether you notice but when it comes to every fall, the maple leaves would wilt and fall out and they end up buried in deadly snow or being swept away by the sanitary workers. And that's just kind of sad because the trees produce leaves every year and the leaves are not able to stay in their branches forever. This gives me an idea to create something out of maple leaves so that I can experiment my creativity as well as save money to go shopping for decorations! My mom likes to buy paintings to hang on the walls all over my house and that definitely costs a lot of money! So I decide to turn the tables a little bit by using paper plates to stick maple leaves on it and create a pattern of colours. Sounds cool isn't it?

As for the doorknob hangers, I'm thinking of using giant-size maple leaves (there's one tree with huge purple maple leaves outside my house) to make the base and the curve-shape hanger out of cardboard before decorating it with smaller maple leaves. I'm still brainstorming on the appearance of it!

I'll also will be making bookmarks, which is pretty challenging because first of all, I have to press the leaves between pages of a book so that they can be hardened for at least a week. And then, I'll be using a stack of transparent file pages (you know, those transparent rectangles you find in stationery files) to wrap the leaves and close the edges and sides with something...I'm still working on the closing step. I've tried sewing but it doesn't work.

Result: FAIL

I don't know whether you can tell on what's wrong with the product above. The tips of the leaf was torn like graham crackers and the file wrap was cut unevenly, plus the sewing was definitely not as neat as a professional's.

I'll be doing more on these with cardboard boxes,manila card, magazine cuttings, or maybe cloths. I'm thinking of covering the back of the leaf with some sort of base before wrapping the leaf up. Anyway, I'm still experimenting with it! Hopefully my next trial will work!

So...anyway I'm sorry that you're expecting me to write a full tutorial post on how to make both of these things now but, I'm just giving you a heads up on what I'm planning to do this fall. I'm busy with my courses and I'm trying to balance up with my school life and my church life, but hopefully I'll find a little bit of time to focus on these two new projects. So I hope you're excited for fall, have a good semester so far, and I'll see you in the full tutorial below someday soon! <3 you all!

October 2 2014

Hey, all! So I've done a little bit of the maple leaf platter and it turns out well so far! Even though I use a weak kind of super glue, the leaves are dried up overnight so they're successfully glued on the paper. As for the gel-coloured maple leaf picture, I use my new gel pen set I've bought from Dollarama for 3 dollars only. I plan to buy myself a better glue at Dollarama tomorrow, hopefully...Anyway, what do you think of the sneak peek above? Can't wait to finish it by Thanksgiving! So stay tuned for this new DIY project as an idea to decorate for fall!

Maple Leaf Bookmarks
(coming soon)

Maple Leaf Platter
October 10 2014

Hey, all! How's it going? How are you enjoying the fall season so far? Thumbs up if you're excited for Thanksgiving (in Canada) next week! So I've finished my new DIY project called the Maple Leaf platter and it's basically a handmade portrait out of a drawing in the middle and maple leaves on the sides! Let's get started!

The things you need are:

• A pair of scissors
• Glue (I recommend you to use good quality glue that you can find in arts & craft's stores or maybe a super glue. I use my sister's school glue and it takes two hours or so for the maple leaves to stick on the plate! That's why I glue the maple leaves little by little each day these past two weeks. 
• Pressed maple leaves (small and medium sizes) (Before you glue the leaves, you should press them between the pages of a thick book like a dictionary or a bible (I use my bible, it's pretty handy =P They are to be squished in your book for at least five days.)
• A square plate (or a rectangular plate, a round plate might not have enough space for you drawing to be glued on the center. A drawing is optional, you can go ahead and cover the entire plate with maple leaves!)
• Pieces of paper. This is to cover the sides of the plate, easier for the maple leaves to be glued on.
• Colour pencils or any other colouring tools for your drawing (optional).
• An unwanted bag handle or any material you can think of to hang your platter. 

To start with the drawing like the photo above, draw maple leaf shapes all over your paper. I use a blank card torn from a notebook while drawing this. Then, trace the leaf lines on each leaf before you colour them. You don't want the lines to clash against the colour! Think of leaving little gaps for the leaf's detail to show! As for the colours, think of the maple leaf colours (red, yellow, orange, and purple). 

Trace the lines first! 

As for the background, think fall! It sounds a little cliche (or cheesy) but the colour of fall has to be dark but inviting. So to me, dark brown is the perfect fall colour. 

Now you're done with your maple leaf drawing (or portrait as people call it), you can turn from an empty plate to this beautiful masterpiece! 

First, cut your papers into four strips that fits on the sides of your square/rectangular plate. Glue them off to cover the sides. Then, paste your portrait onto the middle of the plate. 

Take out your pressed maple leaves and paste them one by one onto the paper strips. I leave the first row of glued leaves to dry for a while before I cover the strips with more maple leaves so that there is no sight of the white papers. Be creative! Use leaves of all sizes to "design" your frame! It's okay if some leaves end up covering the edges of your portrait, it still looks like a great fall masterpiece!

For the last part of the project, I cut out the handle of a ripped Bath and Body Works bag and wrapped it with a decorative red wire as shown above. I also tie the middle of the handle with a ribbon so that I can stick it on my door instead of using a nail or a pin to drill a hole. You can experiment with anything to hang your platter!

To glue the handle, paste two small strips of cellophane tape together with the handle onto the top back of the plate. 

 And there you have it! Your handmade Maple Leaf Platter! It'll look great on your door or somewhere in your room this fall! I hope you'll enjoy this tutorial! I'll do one more of the platter at the end of fall but this time, I'll make it as a note board! Have a great week, happy Thanksgiving!

Maple Leaf Doorknob Hanger
January 1 2015
Happy New Year! I'm glad that it's finally done! This is something I've never done before, and I'm surprisingly glad by how it turns out!

The things you need: A huge pressed maple leaf with a long stem, a puncher, a stapler (optional) a ribbon to hang, papers (depends on what you would like to decorate the stem), coloring materials (I use gel pens to color the blank paper cutouts, a pair of scissors, and glue.

First, punch a hole at the top of the maple leaf and slip the ribbon through it.

Next, cut out several strips of paper and stick one edge of each strip onto the stem. You can either staple the edges or roll them round the stem before gluing them together.

Cut big bubbles or ovals/ leaf-like shapes out of your papers and glue them onto the strips. Pretend that you're making a tree with leaves on branches.

If the glue you're using is wet, let the paper dry for a few minutes before coloring them. The back of the cutouts can be colored first so that you can mark the colours after you decorate the front of the cutouts. Be creative with the front! Think about what you want your doorknob hanger to tell to others. For example, if your mother sees that you don't want to be disturbed when you are studying, she will leave you alone if you have the study notice on your doorknob hanger! Or if you're up to your personal projects that lead to your future career, write them down so that people can see that you're doing the things you love and they won't disturb you.

Be sure that your writings are big enough to be colored and to be seen. Leave a little space between the letters when you color the cutouts. You can trace lines around the letter as guidelines. When it's complete, you'll feel like you're creating your own font/layout!

By the way, I actually wanted to do a multicolor kind of decoration out of strips of papers that is glued together into a...kind of a flower at the bottom but since it's almost the end of winter break and I don't have much time to finish this project, I decide to cut it out and replace it with the dark green bubble as shown in the photo above. It stands out from the "leaves" of my hobbies and passions above it because it includes a little poem about my fear of being different but I'm telling other people that I'll be okay even though I sense that people are looking down on me (pardon me on my negativity).

And there you have it!

The back

The front

If you like this DIY, give this post a "+1" and stay tuned for another DIY coming soon! Or maybe in my next post! =P Once again, happy new year! 

It's Just Me, So Deal With It (new post on body image/health)

Hey, guys! I know it's been weeks since I've posted a new entry on my blog! I've been really busy with my assignments even though it's not nearly midterm. I like the courses I take this semester so far. The second half of Basic Japanese course gets a little harder because of the new "Kanji" characters. It's like writing Chinese spelling homework back in elementary school all over again, but I know that I have to try my best to memorize those new ones. Another thing I struggle is the conversation lab. It seems that I've forgotten most of the conversation tips I've learnt back in Basic Japanese I. Hopefully I'll find time to catch up with my Japanese speaking skills...As for Creative Writing: Intro to Writing Fiction, I find it as challenging as the other courses I've taken. I'm surprised that I've finally found inspiration to write stories, thanks to Sailor Mon Crystal. So I've submitted my first fiction assignment, and I've posted a copy somewhere in my blog. If you want to read it, you can check it out on my blog archive on the top right corner. Anyway, I find this course an opportunity to set my imagination re-sparked. I'm looking forward to use my new fiction character (Phenile who idolizes Sailor Jupiter) in my future assignments. And finally, Intercultural Communication has been pretty interesting so far. The course offers chances to get to know various cultures in great depth as well as to allow us to explore ourselves in terms of culture.

Anyway, you might wonder why I post the picture above. I got this from Facebook and I know that I have to say something about this picture. Blogilates (Cassey Ho) shared through the photo that she was struggling with body confidence when she was young and she had the same reaction as the girl above, wanting to cut off her belly fat. This is something I can definitely relate to. If you've read my previous posts, you would remember that I, too, struggle with body image and I'm still doing Blogilates' workouts six times every week, Of course, there's no immediate result in my stomach but surprisingly, the workouts really help toning up my  arms and legs! I'm gonna work harder to lose belly fat, oh world, you just wait and see!

Same as the girl above, I have lack of confidence in my body when I was little. There were a lot of people including my family who called me skinny. Even my grandma who was "Miss Perfect" commented on my skinny-ness with a straight face. Trust me, when I was a kid, I was a girl with a small, weak frame. But as I reached puberty, my appetite increased dramatically and I began to grow taller. Unfortunately, an excessive amount of stubborn fat always got in my way. And yes, my grandma and other people ended up calling me fat. So yes, in my whole life, I've never received a single comment that I'e grown slim or pretty. Sometimes I wish I can just go for surgery to remove all that fat, but it's not possible.

As I follow Cassey Ho's Youtube Channel and her Blogilates community, I realize that it doesn't matter on what other freaking people think about me. Life is all about hard work and believe in change. Good moments will come and I'll find my happiness through my own skin. I may still don't have a perfect stomach, but I'm still going to exercise in the proud name of sweat!

Imagine that you are the girl in the picture. Would you realize that life is over or life is a new beginning for you to start a change? Kids nowadays are obsessed with body image, including mimicking skeleton figures from celebrities and fashion models. This has got to stop! Not everyone can be happy when they're being skinny! Why does it matter? To attract bad boys? You don't have to be scrawny or sexy or perfect in order to live your life! Think about what makes you...you! Think about the things, people, and surroundings that make you feel welcome. Body image is something we should not paying too much attention to. If you think Barbie doll figures are worth it and the picture above disgusts you instead of being sympathetic, then you should just move along. I'm not gonna judge. I just want to give a  message to those who face the same issues as I do in terms of finding confidence in physical appearance. You are perfect just to way you are. You don't have to hurt yourself in order to get the change you want. It takes time and love to find the life you want.

If you're jealous of the people around you who have beautiful bodies or America's Top Model figures, that is totally normal. I'm jealous of my sisters' and my girlfriends' hourglass figures too, but I learn that comparing yourself to other people is not too healthy. You just have to be you, and that's even more worthy! If you want change, find the time and inspiration to work hard. Eventually, your positive attitude and infinite hope will inspire other people too!

Sailor Jupiter Moves Out! (characterization scene for Intro to Writing Fiction class)

Sailor Jupiter Moves Out!

I feel like a needle removed from my heart. I am in my room, tyingmy long black hair into a high ponytail while hoping to look like the girl in green in the anime Sailor Moon. Then, I scan a list of things saved in my brain while folding some clothes. Suddenly, I spot an old green shirt. Slowly, I run my black-polished nails on the soft fabric and a flashback immediately appears in my head like a computer being switched on.

I was a twelve-year-old finalist at a national karate competition, and I was afraid that I might lose. My mother saw me practicing at our backyard the day before the competition, and she decided to take me to the nearest mall for a breather.

“Does Sailor Jupiter go shopping when she feels stressed?” she asked.

“I’m not sure…she likes girly things though. She feels excited when she sees a cute dress but she doesn’t have that much money to buy it.” I replied.

“Well, I believe Sailor Jupiter needs a little more than just looking at cute dresses.” she chuckled.

We passed by a department store and my eyes caught a mannequin wearing a green T-shirt with “Stay Strong” written on it. It was a perfect combination of tomboy-ness and girly-ness! I believe that green is a tomboy colour and sequins are a symbol of feminism. Mom seemed to read my mind instantly, because the next thing I knew, she walked to the shelf, chose one of the shirts with my size (medium), and walked to the counter to pay for it! Isn’t she the greatest mother in the whole world or what? I got a little teary when she presented the shirt to me. “I believe that you will kick butt tomorrow!” she said with her dark brown eyes twinkled with faith.And she was right. I felt Sailor Jupiter’s lightning power electrifying my adrenaline as I wrestled to glory.

Mom, if you can hear me, I want to spread my own wings and to build my nest in a whole new world. Not only I want to start a new chapter of my personal memoir, but also to start a journey that will remind me of you. Everything’s okay now. Don’t worry.

I realize that time is running out so I quickly fold the shirt up. After I put the clothes in my luggage, I seean orange feather lying on the floor. It must have stuck on one of my shoes in a cockfight matchtwo weeks ago. As I pick it up, I can smell a faint stench of chicken blood. It is a good thing the cockfight matches my stepfather hosted is banned for good. The eventstill haunts me like a horror movie, but when I move to Canada, I’ll have the guts to replay it.

Another flashback appears that begins with him saying, “A chicken is clueless enough to know when it will die.” I believe he referred this to my mother whom he had murdered the day after the match. My temper meter reached to its peak. I wished I could cry but I was fuming. I snapped back at him, “You’re wrong! My mom’s not the chicken! You are! You want all of the money to yourself and not us!” “Well, you can’t do anything to stop me,” he said, because you’re a chicken too!” He then pulled out a gun from his jeans pocket. He was about to shoot when I suddenly dodged away and grabbed hold of his hand. With a quick move illustrated automatically in my head, I kicked him in the stomach and punched his face with my fist. I then snatched the gun and pointed at him, “I bet you don’t know that I have a black belt in karate, asshole! And by the way, you’re no longer needed!”

Suddenly, my iPhone 5 rings its notification sound that startles me. The flashback stops like a freeze spell. Every part of my body feels like being surrounded by Sailor Jupiter’s “Flower Hurricane” attack, excitedly celebrating with my soul for escaping this place I once call home. The memories of my past may wake me up like a nightmare, but I vow to God that I will replace them with new ones, starting now. Before I get into my friend Solange’sLandcruiser, I throw the feather into the garbage can and watch it sink gracefully down, erasing away a piece of my stepfather.9 

Wings of a Lifetime

Author's Note: Hey, I just came back to Vancouver this morning and damn...the jet lag is killing me but I promise I'll sleep early tonight! Anyway, I begin to like travelling alone all the way from Canada to Malaysia and vice versa. And as soon as I stop by at Narita Airport in Tokyo, I plan that I should do more individual travels to experience unique things of different countried on my own, especially in Tokyo which is one of my dream places to go to. And funny that, as soon as I wrote this poem on a notebook during my flight from Tokyo to Vancouver, a Japanese air-stewardess first asked me in Japanese (which I can't understand because I only have learnt the basics) and then she spotted my poem before she changed her mind to ask me in English. I want to laught it off, but then it might be rude. =P 

Wings of a Lifetime

Written By: Michele Hii

I am in the body

of a mechanical eagle.

It is neither a moist digestive tract

nor a tunnel to a world of darkness.

The body of this bird

is a barrier of metal;

carrying its guests away from natural storm.

Sitting near a window

where one of its featherless wings is located.

I nominate this seat

as my ideal spot.

The aura of excitement that sprint through my veins

connect to the organ beside me

like mesmerizing bond.

The rectangular glass

is my world telescope.

The cities below the bird

are apparently mazes of squares,

glazed by a cluster of electronic stars.

Street lights become a twinkling stream

like a path to a fantasy realm.

As the bird soars,

the earth looks like a miniscule island in a snow globe.

I’ve never felt this alive

as the bird floats beneath the clouds.

With myself as an explorer,

I am ready to inhale

the air of a new country.

Unique treasure I long to see

and I’ll never regret this experience.

Travel is a gift.

Chances are gemstones.

I’ll wait to earn a ticket

to a dimension where I’ll be marking

a future page of my life.

In The Eyes of a Grown-Up (New Poem)

In The Eyes of a Grown-Up

Your Crocs slippers crunches on the grass

that needs the haircut of a snazzy prince.

An old song is replayed multiple times

as familiar melodies travel from your earphones

till you feel like singing in this isolated place.

Your eyes shortly scan around the area

like a security camera spying at 360 degrees.

You will see a film screen appearing in your head;

it shows a series of flashbacks

that is hidden somewhere in your memory for ages

like a lost treasure.

Your conscience will scold you

for not remembering those childhood times.

Good heavens! Don’t you remember the colourful swings you used to sit on?

What about those skinny wooden see-saws?

You had to push your feet to give yourself a boost up in the air.

Or that giant round structure where you liked to spin around like tops

with other kids who smile at you like friends?

How could you ever abandon those glimpses

when your mother stood at a corner

watching you like a hawk

while sharing small talks with neighbours?

And goodness gracious!

Where in the world is that big metal slide?

You used to throw your hands high like a monkey

as your body slid down that shiny silver panel.

And not to mention that incident

when you stood on top of of the slide for half an hour or so

because you were scared of a creature that was eyeing at you as dinner.

Was it a dog...or was it a snake?

Oh! You were so terrified you were crying for your mother

to leap up in midair like Wonderwoman to carry you off.

It’s a pity that the slide is gone…

You will feel an icy breath crawling in your heart

like Narnia’s White Queen’s voice slithering through your skin.

The playground itself is untouched.

Every colour, every single patch of ugly brown rust

are remained on the structures.

The rainbow-painted toys are so good to re-encounter,

but the atmosphere is as dead as Scrooge’s demeanour.

Don’t you see?

Not even a single kid was there to play!

Not even a hint of movement was made!

You realize how fast the clock ticks.

You realize how soon the earth moves.

You wake up to see an invisible barrier above you

protecting the playground for the sake of yourself,

a girl who has grown up

and forget the times you connect with this place.

Waves of nostalgia swishes against you

as your fingers hold onto the chains of a red swing.

You sit on it, and you magically feel like a kid once more.

You have visions of the mini-you

swinging with a bunch of children,

drunken with pleasure.

You never know how long this place would last.

You fear that your childhood stories will be erased from your journal

like an eraser that is under a witch’s spell.

You wish you could stay

but Cogsworth the clock says “It’s time to go.”

Your heavy feet sent you off the grass,

stepping away from the barrier.

You slowly turn your back.

Your song is still playing

like an endless hymn.

You swear that you won’t forget this missing piece

that is stolen from your puzzle in years.

One last glance is all you need

and you would never look back

the pain of being in oblivion. 

Author's Note: So I happened to pass by the playground I used to go when I was a kid and I decided to go there to take a look. Everything was still the same, except the slide which was taken away. This poem is basically about reflecting a piece of my memories, but also something we as humans need to know: we can't travel back to the past but we can only recall of what we did. We wish to have time machines, but we don't know what will happen if we revisit our past or change our past. The past is the past and we can only look ahead. 

Congratulations! 15 years of girl power and faith in Christ!

If you've followed this blog and also my memoir blog for a while, you'll probably know that I was a member of the Girls' Brigade back in my childhood years. Girls' Brigade is an international organization to take girls on a journey to be headstrong women for the future and of course to become followers of Jesus Christ. Through eight years of joining the community, I had learnt so many things that I quite forgot how to cook the dishes I had learnt back then and I am still helpless in tying a necktie. But, without the Girls' Brigade, I've learnt that discipline is important; it is meant to be taught and trained since young. One of the speakers tonight said that marching/drill practice is taught among all girls and even six years olds can learn how to raise their foot up while marching. And imagine that the officers are always there for the girls and they nurture them as godmothers. Trust me, even as an ex-member, I still never forget the love they have summoned in my life.

So, you might wonder what's up with the title of this post. Well, I'm happy to announce that Girls' Brigade (5th KK company) is now 15 years old! I'm impressed that Girls' Brigade is still standing solid. I followed a neighbour who was also an officer of the Girls' Brigade to Shern En Methodist Church, and wow, the church is still the same as before. And as I stepped into the building, I encountered the officers once again after a long period of separation. Well, they still look the same to me. LOL. I was even greeted with open arms when I saw former captain Madame Kiu. Gosh! The feels!

So, the anniversary was pretty much like all other events I had been to back when I was a member. Praise & Worship session, speeches, performances, and refreshments at the end. The theme of this year's anniversary was called "A Better Me" and I think it was to tell us that we as God's people are meant to be built up to become more confident in life or to become more useful for the Lord.

The photos I took with my smartphone are not zoomed in so I won't be posting all of them here. Most of the photos I took are performances by the member of various age groups from kids to teens to ex-members who are having a break from universities. Oh! What do we have here?

I don't know whether this is big enough for your eyeballs but the picture above is when the officers and some honorable guests celebrated with an anniversary cake.

One thing that I couldn't believe was that I hadn't had dinner, so I had to hold on to my growling stomach until the end of the event for supper to come to my rescue. Surprisingly, the mouth-watering cupcakes and brownies and pieces of the anniversary cake was good enough for my hunger to subside. And it was great to have small talk with the officers. It was like visiting the past after travelling through Cornelius Robinson's time machine.

If you're reading this and happens to be one of the people in the anniversary, I just want to say I'm happy to join you all. This event will probably be featured in my memoir (I don't know whether my biographical book will be my first book, but we'll see). And to the officers, I know I don't have the time to say goodbye because it was getting late, but I would like to have a chance to say thank you for having me over and also I hope you enjoy the gift I've left for you and your girls. I'll definitely come back when I return for my next summer vacation. Once again, happy 15th birthday to you, Girls' Brigade 5th KK company! Keep learning new things, growing in life, and pursuing the Lord!