I remember an inspirational quote from my favourite fitness instructor Cassey Ho, the Youtuber who is the creator of Blogilates. She says "change is coming". It takes time to improve in something, something I want to commit myself to make the best out of myself. Change plays a big part of life, and it may sounds scary, but it helps me to take steps to a new perspective in discovering myself. To me, change may mean that I've made new friends and forget about my old friends or adapting to a new country and forgetting about my roots. That's not going to happen. Even though I'm in a new year, a new home, and a new chapter of my personal memoir, I'm trying my best to improve myself but also to maintain my personalities and character. It sounds hard, but I hope that I won't be forgotten and to be respected by the new people I meet and connect.
So ask yousrelf, what does the word "change" means to you? Is it good or is it bad?
There are some surprises that approach to me this year. I don't know whether this is a blessing from God or is it his secret to show that something good is happening to my last year of Douglas College.
-My memoir chapter "Rooster Alarm" was shared by five random Google followers! I was super surprised when I first found this out on my dashboard. This is the first time I got recognition from strangers online (readers who like my work and share them to other people). I would like to say thank you so much to those who are the followers and please keep sharing! It means a lot to me!
http://towardsthesun-beneaththesnow.blogspot.ca/2014/08/rooster-alarm-new-memoir-chapter-about.html
- There is a surprising result of my fiction writing assignment "Innocent Feathers". Turns out that my class loved my piece that I received positive comments with a little bit of feedback about the time jump at the end. And my instructor gave me a full 10 out of 10! I was like...WHOA! How did that happen? This was the first time I got a high mark in creative writing! Like ever! The highest grade I've gotten in my writing courses was an A-! So this A+ gem got me a little flabbergasted but it's also a boost for me to make a good impression on my first full story assignment which is due soon.
http://thetruemichelehii.blogspot.ca/2014/10/innocent-feathers-setting-and-imagery.html
And then, when I took a photo of the result and posted it on my Facebook page (I didn't post it on Instagram because my phone has crappy amount of space), I never knew that I've got the highest number of likes in my entire Facebook history. In just two to three days, my photo was thumbs-ed up by forty plus friends, and I couldn't imagine how supportive my friends and family are. Usually when I post something, the updates are ignored. So when this new phenomenon of my life happens in the blink of an eye, I realize that there will be a time for me to shine. I'm not forever silent or forever isolated. I always feel isolated, but I keep reminding myself that I'm not invisible. If the people I've met pull me off the dark, then I'll remember that I'm loved and needed.
- Surprisingly (again), I've made new friends. Not like acquaintances who I only say hi and say one of two sentences in group work, but people who I can sit with and help out with homework and laugh off at jokes and having a blast learning together. These are the new group of people I'm looking for in Canada, not racism or prejudice or discrimination, but a community who is colour blind and take in one another as family. In Japanese class and Communication class, I've found people who I can push myself to talk. It's actually not a bad thing. Once I'm letting my aegis to crack and hopefully shatter, I'll no longer feel insecure. Sadly, those people comes and goes. Every semester, new people comes in and that makes a whole lot harder if we got separated after four months of seeing and sticking together. I haven't found a new group of people who I call friends for more than a year or even a long period of time like my friends back in Malaysia, but I think there's a chance when I can see those people even when we got separated. I don't like separation, I prefer connection.
Something tells me deep inside that this age is a traditional stereotype that I want to break. I mean "You're 21, that means you're an adult" belief my mother told me...is not entirely true! I'm still having a blurry mind on what's hidden behind the harsh reality. I may be a late bloomer and I don't know when will be the time for me to survive, but I have faith that one day I'll become a shooting star, gliding my way through independence and freedom. I have to admit, I'm still a kid. And here's a guilty pleasure, I hate growing up. But that's something I can't rewind. This is life, and that's how it is. Time is ticking, and I can't possibly beg Peter Pan or Tinker Bell to use magic to turn back time. The only thing to get out of this is to accept where I am and see where time take flight.
So here's something I think it's important in the world today. Don't think in an old-fashion or traditional way. Don't stick to one culture or one norm or even one thing. There are various things to explore and the world is for us to expand our minds and to change our perspectives. When you're in a new environment like me, learn to adapt to it and accept the culture. You'll never know how many years you will live or how much change you've become. Try involve in the "cultural identity search" because different norms or beliefs or even matters can blend in to become your own definition of culture, or even a new version of yourself.
I hope you like reading this new post, and don't forget to live this day, live this life! =)
Btw, thank you all for your birthday wishes! I didn't exactly have made a wish while blowing the candle because I was still too sleepy after cramming with assignments and Japanese exercises for tomorrow's midterm. But if I get to make a wish, I'm looking forward to a new change in myself as well as making the best out of my last year in Douglas College.
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