Super Junior, my indescribable heartbeat (Final Essay for a Communications class)

Super Junior, My Indescribable Heartbeat

Written by: Michele Hii

       It all started when I took Basic Japanese as an elective course at Douglas College back in the year 2015. I had a crush on one of my colleagues, who was a Korean. I thought that I would get to know a little more on Korean culture so that I can get his attention. That was when the name of a Korean pop boy group, Super Junior, came to my attention. I remember watching one or two of their music videos when I was a teenager, but I wasn't familiar with the group at that time. I decided to watch a music video I've seen once before. This time, one of the members of the group caught my eye. His eyes were as big and bright as a puppy's. His hair was a beautiful soft brown. His voice was like a Cupid's arrow that was shot straight to my heart. As I looked through several fan sites, I got to know his name: Cho Kyu Hyun.

        As days went by, I got into more of their music. The more Kyu Hyun appeared on my phone screen, the deeper I fell in love with him. He had hypnotized me with his looks, vocals and humour. Within a few months, I did my homework on familiarizing myself with all thirteen members of Super Junior as well as studying as many facts of Super Junior as I could. I grew to love the whole group a lot more; I could even recognize each of their voices, faces and heights.

       Weeks later, I told my crush about my love for Super Junior. He didn't respond to it until the time I talked to an exchange student from Japan. He was also a Super Junior fan. We were raving about some of the Super Junior songs we loved in front of a group of friends, including my crush. In the middle of our conversation, my crush's laugh cut us off.

        "What's wrong?" I asked.

        "This is embarrassing!" he laughed as he shook his head. He even said it in Japanese. Both the student and I exchanged glances. Why would he say that? Liking a group namely Super Junior is embarrassing? I wanted to tell him that he's being rude, but I kept to myself. I realized that I shouldn't have discussed anything about Super Junior with him.

          After familiarizing myself with as much information on Super Junior as I could, I thought meeting other fan would help me to learn more about them. So on March 3rd, 2016, I created a Super Junior fan account on Instagram called michhiielf93. During the first few months, I searched for accounts that have Super Junior related usernames, and I followed them one by one. I set up a goal of reaching a thousand followers within a year, and I knew that I had to make a good impression from other fans on Instagram. So I searched for Super Junior images on Google and fan pages on Facebook and Twitter before I saved them in my phone's gallery. Then, I chose which image to post on Instagram. I also brainstormed as many creative captions as I could to go together with the images I planned to post. My captions vary from a sentence to a paragraph and even to a poem. One of my favourite captions is "Rising from the abyss is a squad of heroes. They marched down the aisle with poise. The one and only, Super Junior, 15 Supermen, the last men standing!"; it's posted above a screenshot from a YouTube video of Super Junior performing one of their hit songs called "Superman". I shared three to five Super Junior images per day, and this eventually became a daily routine. No matter how busy I was, I made sure that I had a little bit of time to compose a new Instagram post with a perfect picture, an eye-catching caption and a sufficient number of hashtags. Surprisingly, I had 4391 followers within the same year, which was beyond my expectations. I also turned my inactive Twitter account into a Super Junior fan account called MichHiiELF.

        I've been updating my Instagram account and connecting with my followers for nearly 2 years now. As I get to know my followers more, I've learned a valuable lesson. A few months ago, I noticed a slow decrease in my number of followers. Was it because my account had gone boring? Was it because I lost touch on some of the followers who I used to talk to? As I shared this concern with some of my followers, our discussions make me realize that having a fan account was not about gaining followers, but it's about gaining new friendship with people who share the same love of Super Junior as I do. I realized that all this time I was greedy for aiming more people to follow my account, and because of this I felt a little too proud of myself. Super Junior has worked very hard to come up with the best music for people to enjoy and to make their group name shine in the Korean pop industry and abroad. My job as a fan is to love and support them till the end. I also will always be grateful for my followers who have became my new fellow ELF (short for Super Junior fan club name, Everlasting Friends). We are friends who are always there for each other, and are always there to support all members of the K-Pop group.

        One of the reasons why I'm grateful that I choose to be a fan of Super Junior is the feeling of anticipation and excitement when Super Junior is having a comeback. To me, the anticipation for a Korean pop idol's comeback is higher than the anticipation for the sequel of a favourite novel. When articles from K-Pop news sites announced Super Junior's comeback on July15, 2015, I squealed like a 5-years-old. I jot down the dates of the music video release, the album release, the live stream sessions, the variety shows they will participate as guests in, the live performances, and any other promotional activities on the calendar app of my phone. I woke up at 3am just to watch the live stream for Super Junior's introduction to the new album, and I waited for an hour or so till the music video of their new song, "Devil", was dropped on YouTube. Once the first few notes of an electric guitar was played at the beginning of the song, I was immediately hooked by the rhythm. Even when I watched their first live performance of the comeback, I was blown away by their clear, distinctive voices. Each member wore a suit with a different colour; I especially adored Kyuhyun who looked handsome in a beige suit. If he ever danced with that suit in front of me, I would probably die with happiness!

          The joy of seeing the group together, however, doesn't last long. There are times when the members have responsibilities to take care of or be involved in an unexpected problem. Two of the members, Shindong and Sungmin, were serving in the military during the Devil comeback. Three months later after the "Devil" comeback, more members enlisted to fulfill their mandatory military service. Every time I watch fan cams of a Super Junior member got his head shaved and made his way to the army camp, I couldn't control myself from sobbing. It's like sending a loved one away to a faraway place, and I won't be able to see that person in a long period of time. And the more the members leave for army service, the smaller the size of the group looks like. My bias, Kyuhyun, is the youngest member of the group, so he's the last member to enlist. When his enlistment day, May 25, 2017, arrived, it was difficult for me to maintain my composure. I couldn't imagine myself scrolling through social media without seeing Kyuhyun's big, black eyes and slightly chubby face in a Super Junior photo. It is a struggle for me as an ELF, because I won't see him as an idol for two years.

       The remaining Super Junior members distract themselves with their individuals careers. Leeteuk, the leader and oldest member of the group, as well as Heechul, the second oldest member, host a big number of variety shows. Yesung, one of the oldest members, focuses on acting and singing as a solo balladeer. Shindong, who finished his soldier duty on December 23, 2016, pursues his dream in directing music videos. They work hard in their personal passions not just for their own benefit, but also to represent Super Junior as a group that is still existing. Their hard work and dedication as either an individual worker or a group member have touched me and inspired me to do the same for my own goals in life. Even when rumours of several members spread like wildfire, the rest of the members put all of their heart and energy into their careers.

       Speaking of rumours, my ex-crush's comment on how embarrassing he thought Super Junior was reminds me of people who look down on Super Junior. Ever since Super Junior debuted back in 2005, the members are heavily criticized for being a part of a group with 13 members. SM Entertainment, the entertainment agency, originally made Super Junior a project group; the members were the remaining trainees at that time, and the company used them as an experiment to see whether a big-sized Korean pop group would work. Thanks to the support from a small number of fans, Super Junior has yet to disband. And it doesn't look like they will anytime soon. The group has a lot more comebacks than expected, and the amount of fans grows year by year till their popularity escalates to the whole world. In fact, Super Junior is listed as the music group with the most members in the Guinness World Records. Despite the fact that Super Junior has accomplished so many things that make themselves icons of Korean pop and role models of future Korean pop sensations such as numerous awards and qualified positions as brand ambassadors, there are haters who enjoy bashing Super Junior.

         As years passed by, news become a lot more negative. Sungmin, who is one of the youngest members of the group, was boycotted by a Super Junior fan community ran by a Korean ELF in June this year due to rumours of him not caring about the fans and the group just because of his wedding preparations with his wife, Kim Sa Eun. Kangin, who I describe as the black sheep of the group, unintentionally crashed his car against a lamp post while drunk driving in May last year. Siwon, who was supposedly participating in the promotion for the comeback last month, is in recovery from his neighbour's death caused by his dog's bite. Such rumours caused controversies to rise, and as a result, these members were unable to participate in the comeback schedules. To me, the worst case scenario is these men, who are in despair, are not given another chance to resume their jobs as idols. Leeteuk, the leader of Super Junior, even has to apologize for his fellow bandmates no matter what issues they're blamed for. Super Junior may be the group that are despised by people, they don't understand the group as much as the fans do. As an ELF, I feel like I'm connected to Super Junior, because the more I understand their situation and feelings, the more I'm concerned about them.

          On a bright side, Super Junior's comeback last month got me even more excited than before. I was blown away by the tremendous surprises they had prepared, including a documentary series entitled "SJ Returns" that was screened on an smartphone app called V Live for six to seven weeks. Their new double title tracks, "Black Suit" and "One More Chance", proved fans that they'd set the bar high with improved vocal training and music arrangement. "Black Suit" wowed me with its smooth combination of funky retro pop, piano and brass melodies. I was instantly smitten by all seven members who were dressed up in black suits for the music video, including Eunhyuk who looked absolutely sexy in a black and white striped dress shirt that went well with a black blazer and a pair of gold-rimmed glasses. The music video's storyline of a missing million-dollar black suit from an auction fitted so well with Super Junior's classy and manly fashion. "One More Chance" was a ballad mixed with a balance of pop and rock elements. This song portrayed Super Junior's message for ELF, which was to not "leave like the rain" as shown in the first line of the chorus; the music video showed each of the members, dressed up in sweaters and jackets for an autumn vibe, in different settings that signified their deepest burdens. For example, Leeteuk trapped in a room with fire blazing at the corners, which symbolized his inability to escape from past memories.

           My followers on Twitter have inspired me to do something that I have never thought of. Frankly, Twitter is one of the worst apps in all of the Internet. When it comes to negative news on Super Junior, people retweet them within seconds, and malicious comments always appear first. Those kind of comments are from Twitter users who are biased. They only care about their favourite artists, but not other artists who other people admire. So to show themselves that they are proud of their favourites, they will bring something up that either never happen or have happened years ago such as "Super Junior is flop." or "Super Junior should disband". I'm astonished to see a lot of ELF on Twitter defend for Super Junior by saying things like "obviously you don't know who Super Junior really is, so why don't you just leave them alone". At the same time, I'm worried that the more people see ELF as a rude fan club, the worse Super Junior's image will be. Therefore, I don't want to be one of those people who only cares about gossips, and not showing sympathy towards members who are facing difficulties in their idol life and personal life. I want my account to be a source where Super Junior fans can be enlightened with words of encouragement concerning gossips and malice. One of my favourite advice for all ELF is to ignore the haters and to spread positivity.

          This is where the idea of getting myself out of my comfort zone comes in. On June 20, 2017, I've decided to create a fan base called ELFCANada. I've met three Canadian ELF who are now admins of the fan base, and we've come up with a motto which is "ELF CAN do anything". As months pass by, our fan base is recognized by a good number of ELF all over Canada, and we've just reached 423 followers on ELFCANada's Twitter page. I'm proud that I've made this happen. I've turned from a fan to a leader of a Canadian fan base. Together with my other three admins, we will keep on sharing our love and support for Super Junior and connecting with Canadian fans. One of my favourite tweets from our Twitter account is "Super Junior doesn't deserve [people who disrespect] them, they deserve those who [value] them as a [Korean pop] phenomenon. #SuperJunior #KingsofKPop" Korea calls them the Kings of K-Pop, because they're the first group that influences the global K-Pop trend today.

         Super Junior has overcame difficulties as a group for 12 years now. They treat one another like brothers, and their bond is like glue. I never even regret of choosing them as my ultimate favourite music group. Thanks to my ex crush, I've found a group of unique, talented, down-to-earth, genuine, and hardworking artists who have delivered more than a decade of amazing content and tremendous love to their fans. Thanks to Super Junior, I've made friends from all over the world. And someday, I hope to meet them all in person. I want to thank them all for following and supporting my account, and to continue my fangirling on Super Junior with them. If I get to describe Super Junior in two words, I would say they're an "indescribable heartbeat". Every time I hear, see and talk about the name Super Junior, my heart beats in a pattern I can't describe in words. And I will not let my heart stop beating for them.

The Path I Want to Take

Hi all! It's been a while since I've posted in my blog! I hope you all have a great summer this year!

So this is what I would like to share today. I chatted with an old friend of mine on Messenger this morning, and she asked me about my plans after I graduate next year. I told her that I want to teach English in Japan. When she asked me my reason of choosing Japan out of all countries, I told her an answer that I'd never thought of till that time: "Because I've always wanted to try living there. I've taken Japanese classes for a year, and so I thought I wanna make it useful by improving my Japanese in Japan itself and I also wanna teach English there. Just as an experience." I also told her that I plan to live in Japan for a few years (probably move to some parts of Japan where several of my friends live), and then I want to try living in Korea. She sounded surprised and happy that I'll be "living in [countries] where [I'll] find languages...challenging".

This got my thinking, because I guess I want to help Korean and Japanese people to break the language barrier with English speakers. After being a fan of Japanese culture since young and a fan of Korean culture for more than two years now, I've found out that a lot of people in both Korea and Japan are not fluent in English. And that's kind of sad, because Asian culture is now popular worldwide. They need to improve their English so that they can not only communicate with foreign fans, but also to appreciate that foreigners get to love their cultures. I recently watch Korean variety shows, and I laugh so hard when they attempt to speak English (heck! Some of them have lived in English-speaking countries before, so it's a relief that they can speak English well). At the same time, I feel bad for those who try their best to speak English, because I know that English taught in Korean schools focuses more on academics rather than communication. I've watched a Buzzfeed video on Americans taking a Korean SAT test, and the questions look just ridiculously difficult! D: I've even seen videos of Koreans who are challenged to talk to foreigners; they got shy and nervous, yet they tried to at least speak out a few phrases they know.

So I really want to help these people to learn how to communicate well in English. I mean, I have to admit, I may still be a terrible editor. Because every time I hand in an assignment, I always get red marks on grammar errors (psst...because I often don't have time to edit since I hand in a few seconds before the deadline arrives #procrastination :P). However, I am familiar with grammar, and I sometimes help Japanese students with their homework by editing. I once helped a friend with an essay. She actually was upset, because her lecturer told her to redo the whole essay which was due in just two days. I was pissed! I felt like giving that lecturer a piece of my mind! Like what the heck? Can't he extend the deadline or something? She's only been living in Canada for a few years, and she has tried her best to write in English! Why can't teachers give pity to students who are struggling with the second language? But anyway, I gave her tips and checked her grammar. She managed to get a good mark in her essay in the end. And that's when I realize that I want to to do the same thing to my future students.

I also am surprised that I've ended up deciding on becoming a teacher. Since I'm young, I've always been scared of teachers. I'm always known to be the girl with the zipped lips. Even until now, I still don't get to open up often with my lecturers. I only talk to a few teachers, including the Japanese lecturers who I honestly am most comfortable with. Since the Japanese lecturers keep encouraging me to practice talking Japanese with my peers, I become comfortable talking to them as well. I've even got to get permission from a former Japanese lecturer to tutor some of her students with basic Japanese. I've known her since she was my conversation lab instructor in Douglas College three years ago. She transferred to Capilano University (2016) for two semesters only. Even at this short period of time, I'm happy that she let me to help her students. She has inspired me a lot, because her way of teaching was based more on communication. She believes that it's important for students to have a bond with one another, so that they can be comfortable and confident in helping each other with their Japanese. And that's what I want to do with mine in the future.

I have doubts of my dream, because first of all, I'm a cowardly person who is scared of teachers, and now I've wanting to become a teacher. Absurd huh? I'm a nervous person and I want to be a teacher myself. *picturing people snickering at the corner* And two, Japan is a place that is an earthquake zone. I've never experienced an earthquake before, and I'm going to a place that has frequent earthquakes. Wow, Mich, you're dead! But when I push those thoughts aside and focus on what I want to do to make a change for the people, I realize that I want to make my dream happen. Japan is my next destination, and I want to go there. I know I have to go there.

So what's your dream or plan after you graduate? If you're still unsure, don't be afraid to give yourself time to reflect on your life and explore new ideas. I already have a plan, and I hope to make my plan a reality. So can you. :) See you in the next post! <3

Cosmic Love (New Fiction!)

Poetry, stories, opinion, and anything that comes to my mind are all here!

Title: Cosmic Love 
Author’s note: I was inspired by the Japanese adaptation of the story of Vega and Altair. Vega and Altair are two stars that represent a star-crossed relationship between a seamstress and a cow herder. Vega’s father only allowed her to see Altair once a year. She had to cross the Milky Way in order to meet him. In the Japanese version, Vega is known as Orihime (Oh-ree-hee-meh) and Altair is known as Hikoboshi (Hee-koh-boh-she). Instead of the Milky Way, Orihime has to go through a really long river to see Hikoboshi who lived at the very end of the river. The reason why I choose this folktale as an idea is because I want the two characters as a symbolism for my story. 

Street lights lit up the city of Osaka. The night sky reminded me of an Obsidian; the volcanic rock’s glossy black surface could be a rare material to make jewelry. People walked past me with smiles on their faces, the perfect emotion for Tanabata, the Star Festival. The pedestrian lanes on both sides of the river were embellished with colourful yukatas, which were a loose and simpler version of a kimono. Buzzing chatters and clicking wooden clogs were the background music.
I made a bee line through the crowd, hoping to find a bamboo tree. The tall bamboo trees arranged in a neat row by the lanes were clumped with countless rectangular paper strips. Each strip had Sharpie writings of different languages. Everyone in the festival loved the Tanzaku, the tradition of writing wishes on paper and tying on bamboo trees.  I may be a local, but I still find it fascinating. We all may have been working hard to achieve our dreams, but we also hope that we will be given at least a tiny miracle when things go downhill.
I was about to give up searching when suddenly a tree shorter than the rest caught my eye. A thin, bare branch was sticking out of it. I unzipped my satchel, pulled out a paper strip that matched my violet yukata, and made a bow around the branch with the ribbon that was attached on top of the paper. My wish was written in blue ballpoint pen; it said “I wish that love is like a constellation.” It sounded weird at first, but I knew that it was a message I hope the spirits can help me with. All I wanted in my life was a chance to love a guy. If only the gods can give me a person to love to the fullest, my life will be as wide and bright as the stars.
“Nomi!” a voice made me jump. I turned to see my friend, Hana, coming over. From the look on her face, I felt bad for letting her to walk all the way from the shrine in wooden clogs. She preferred sneakers and heelless boots. I could imagine her searching frantically for me in those traditional Japanese shoes which made her feet ache like hell.
“Where have you been? I thought you went to buy your Tanzaku paper. ” Hana frowned.
“Sorry! I’m not gonna calm down until I’ve found a tree to tie my wish.” I replied.
“Well, you could have called me or texted me where you’re at.”
“I should have done that. I’m sorry…again.”
She sighed and looked up to see the paper with my handwriting which was hung around the tiny branch. “Don’t you think the wind’s gonna blow it away? You tied it way close to the end.”
“I’ve tied it securely. I’m sure it won’t be carried away.” I replied.
“If you say so,” she shrugged, “anyway, I think the light show is about to start. Are you ready to go?”
“Yeah! Let’s go!” I nodded. I took one last look at the tree before following her further down the river. A large crowd gathered at both sides of the river. They stood in several long lines. Each of them was holding a baseball-shaped LED light. The first rows of people moved forward and slid their balls through a row of long wooden slides attached to the fences of the river.
Hana tapped me on the shoulder and handed me a light ball. I looked at her in surprise.
“What?” she asked as she raised one eyebrow.
“When did you get it?” I pointed at the other light ball she was holding in her right hand.
She blinked before letting out a laugh. “I just bought them! What? You didn’t see a woman coming by with a bag of light balls just now?”
“Oh! Really?”
“Gosh! Nomi! You should be more alert!”
“Whatever.” I shook my head, “By the way, I wonder why you all have to drop these balls into the river?”
“It’s an Osaka tradition.” she replied, “Every year, we create a Milky Way pattern on river water with these light balls. I guess this tradition is inspired by the festival’s folktale.”
“You mean the story of Orihime and Hikoboshi?”
She nodded. “You know that they were in a star-crossed relationship, right? Orihime’s father allowed her to meet her lover once a year. But she doesn’t get to meet Hikoboshi every year because if it’s raining, she couldn’t cross to the other end of the river to meet him. And so, we throw these balls to represent the Milky Way. The stars are like a guide for lovers to find each other.”
“Wow! That’s cool!” I exclaimed.
When it was our turn, I placed my ball on top of the wooden structure and gave it a little push. It rolled down the slide and plopped onto the water. After everyone else had thrown theirs, the light balls shortly lit up in bright blue. They were scattered all over the river, like watercolour splattered on the world’s longest canvas. I looked at the beautiful view in awe; it definitely looked like the Milky Way. A galaxy of artificial stars on water.
I was about to take pictures with my phone when suddenly a silver twinkle between two of the glowing blue spheres caught my eye. I realized it was a reflection from the sky; I looked up and saw a couple of stars much bigger than the others. To my surprise, one of them peeled itself away from the sky and fell down like a meteor. It came closer and closer. I quickly turned back to run, but I felt something really heavy collided against my head. Everything went black.
                             *                               *                                *
I was welcomed with fluorescent lights that nearly blinded my vision. I recognized Hana who sat by the bed. She immediately got up from her chair.
“Oh! Thank goodness! I thought you’re dead!” she smiled in relief.
“W…where am I?” I asked.
“The hospital.” she answered, “You passed out all of a sudden. I thought you’re suffering from claustrophobia or something.”
“I don’t think I remember what happened.” I said. I was about to sit up when I immediately felt dizzy. Hana gently placed her hands on my shoulders and pushed me back against the pillow. “Don’t get up! The doctor said you had a concussion.” she explained. I sighed and stared at the ceiling. “I’ll get the doctor, okay? I’ll be right back.” she patted my shoulder and went out of the ward.
Unlike my house where I usually chase after my 6-years-old twin brothers, Toya and Taki, and give them lectures on not to leave a single grain of rice in their bowls, the hospital room was more of an empty barren with neither books on the shelf at a corner nor TV in front of me. Now I know why many people hated hospitals. The atmosphere was pretty much lifeless. I shielded my eyes with my left arm while thinking of going back to sleep when suddenly I spotted small black letters written on my forearm. I squinted my eyes to take a closer look.
I will search for you in the stars.
My eyes widened. I reread it for what seemed like three minutes. Who the heck wrote on my arm? Writing on a piece of paper would be just fine. I got out of the bed and slipped into a pair of slippers Hana had left behind. Great…even the slippers were white. I peeked through the door; luckily, no one was lingering around or passing by. I made my way to the washroom which was just a couple of doors away. Once I stopped by one of the porcelain sinks, I quickly wet my arm with cold water and rubbed the writings with a thick layer of soap that smelt like cheap perfume. I rubbed and scratched my arm for about five minutes. Unfortunately, not a single letter disappeared. What did the writer use? Permanent marker?
I turned off the tap and frowned at the mirror in front of me. Scenes flashed in my head. I remembered looking at the strange star that fell towards me. Wait a minute…could it be I really got hit by the star and now I’m under some sort of curse? The words on my arm must have something to do with it.
“Nomi! Come on! The doctor says he wants to do a checkup on you.”
“Oh…okay.”
                                  *                                      *                                       *
“Nomi? Nomi!” a male voice called me. I opened my eyes and found myself standing in the exact spot by the river. I was surprised when I saw that I was wearing my yukata again. Wasn’t I at the festival last night? How come I was in my yukata again? “Nomi!” it called again. I searched for the people that were admiring the ornament-like lights from the other side of the river. I finally saw a guy who looked around the same age as me. He was wearing a sky blue yukata and he was cupping his hands over his mouth, calling my name over and over. I didn’t think I had seen him before. He had bangs that nearly covered his big, dark brown eyes.
“Are you calling me?” I shouted back.
“Yes, I am,” he replied.
“Why?”
“I want to ask…”
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
My body was all tangled by my bed covers. I grabbed my phone from my side table to turn off the alarm. The reminder shown on the screen said:
Art Sale at cafeteria! Be there before 9am!
“Looks like I’ll be on campus the whole day today.” I mumbled to myself.  As I got myself off my bed and did my morning routine, I couldn’t stop replaying my dream in my head. His words were like a clue to something I was to look for.  Even when I walked my way to the train station, I couldn’t concentrate listening to One Republic songs I shuffled on my iPod.
                                           *                                *                              *
“Good morning, Nomi!” Hana chirped.
“Good morning!” I waved.
“Thanks for coming to help! Lee, Rini and Kiyu will be here in five minutes. In the meantime, can you help to set up these paintings?” she asked, “I’ll do the ones over there.”
“Sure.” I nodded.
It took fifteen minutes to arrange the paintings on portable racks. I didn’t know how Hana find the time to host such an event. As an art student, she had a tremendous skill in creating watercolour and oil pastel masterpieces. Some of her artwork won first place in Osaka University’s art contests. And when she was offered this opportunity to be in charge of a 3-hours sale of second-hand paintings donated by her professor’s art shop, she wouldn’t say no.
I was about to hang the last painting when suddenly my left foot tripped over the bottom of a rack. I was expecting that my whole body would crash onto the tile floor, but to my surprise, a firm hand grabbed onto my right wrist. I turned my back and saw a guy pulling me back onto my feet. He was around six feet tall and his dark brown eyes stared into mine with worry.
“Are you okay?” he asked. His voice was deep but gentle. My heart did a somersault. He was by far the most attractive guy I had ever seen. I quickly pushed my girly thoughts to the back of my brain and cleared my throat. “Yeah! Yeah…I’m okay. Thanks.” I nodded.
He relaxed and let go off my wrist.
“Ah! Kiyu! You’re here!” Hana beamed.
“Hi Hana!” he waved.
“Oh! This is my friend, Nomi!” she patted me on my right shoulder, “She’s helping me out with the sale today.”
He looked at me with his mouth slightly open. I couldn’t tell why he had such an odd expression. He quickly switched back to a smile. “Nomi-san, huh? Nice to meet you.” he said as he put out his hand.
“Nice to meet you too…Kiyu-san.” I replied. I shook his hand; his palm was smooth as if he applied a good amount of hand cream every day.
“Lee and Rini are getting the cashier counter ready over there. Let’s do our best to sell as many paintings as we can, okay?” Hana pumped her fist in the air, “Ganbatte!”
“Yeah! Ganbatte!” Kiyu agreed.
“Nomi! You can help assisting customers and resorting the paintings with Kiyu.” she suggested.
“Sure. Okay.” I nodded.
I thought that the whole morning was gonna be really awkward when I was working with Kiyu, but it turned out that he was actually a comfortable person to be with. We took turns sharing our interests and brief funny stories whenever we had no customers to help with. He welcomed customers with a friendly wave and high-fived children who came with their parents to look for cartoon portraits for their rooms. Whenever I glanced at his side profile, I could feel my heart stirring with curiosity and excitement. There was just something about him that made me want to know him more.
The sale ended at around 5pm. Hana was impressed with the total number of paintings that were sold. I had to admit, this was actually fun. I wasn’t much of a painter but I liked the fact that there were still people who appreciate traditional art.
“Would you be helping out in next year’s sale?” Kiyu asked. He seemed to have read my mind.
“I think I would.” I smiled.
“That would be wonderful!” Rini, the girl with a French braid grinned as she came towards us. Lee, who wore a green oversized shirt with a happy Pikachu in the center, walked beside her and gave me a thumbs-up.
“Hana told me that you’re more of an aspiring writer, but she also said that you have a good taste in art.” Lee chipped in.
“I totally agree with them.” Kiyu said.
“Gee…I’ve never received such compliments before. Arigatou!” I bowed. From my peripheral vision, I noticed dark letters peeping out from his right forearm. The colour of the wordings looked so familiar. It immediately dawned at me. I was having a good time until memories from last night and the dream this morning came back to me. It was a good thing that I was wearing my favourite black silk cardigan so that no one could see the spontaneous tattoo. Even my parents would freak out because they didn’t want me to look like a rebel.
“Nomi? Nomi? Are you listening?” I realized that Hana and the others were staring concernedly at me. Kiyu’s lips were in a tight hyphen, but his eyes seemed to tell me something else.
“Is everything alright, Nomi?” Hana asked. I shook my head and forced a smile.
“Nomi-san,” Kiyu said, “you live near Sakuranomiya station, right? I live around there too. Maybe we can take the train together.”
“Sure.” I nodded.
                                                 *                          *                        *
Come on come on come on hurry up hurry up hurry up! How much longer?
Kiyu and I were sitting two seats away from each other. I scrolled through the photos and notes on my phone just to keep myself distracted. Unfortunately, I kept feeling chills crawling down my spine because I could sense Kiyu’s gaze fixed constantly on me. Oh God! Everything turned out well until I saw the words on his arm. I shouldn’t have done that! Did I do something wrong? Why can’t he just look at his phone like everyone else?
Finally, the train arrived at the station. I got up from the seat and paced through the doors of the train. I could hear Kiyu’s sneaker footsteps behind me. I stopped and turned back which startled him.
“I…uh…I’m actually going to the park for a bit. I…it’s nice meeting you, Kiyu. Good night.” I stammered and bowed.
“Wait!” he pleaded, “can…can I say something?”
I paused and slowly turned back.
“I’m sorry.” he blurted.
“For what?”
“I think I’m making you feeling uncomfortable.”
“What? Why would you say that?”
“It’s just that…there’s something about you…that I can’t seem to get off my mind.”
“That is?”
He ran his fingers through his hair. His eyes wandered to a distance; he looked like he was searching for the right words to say.
“I…I don’t know. I think I’ve seen you somewhere before, like in a dream or something.”
I gave him a blank look.
“How about this? We’ll go for a walk in the park and I’ll tell you all about it.” he said.
“Okay.”
                                                 *                         *                        *
The park was the exact place when the star festival was held. Unlike the lively atmosphere last night, the lanes on both sides of the river were empty and quiet. The river was in its usual, calm state. The wooden slides were gone. The only thing that remained was the paper strips that were tied on every tree. I watched the street lights casting white shadows over the earth; paper strips that were tied around the bottom branches of the trees could be seen.
“I think I was here last night.” Kiyu said.
“I was here too,” I replied, “It was the last day of the star festival.”
“No wonder it was really crowded.” he nodded.
“I know right?” I agreed, “I even had to find a tree to tie my wish.”
“So was I!” he chuckled.
We decided to stand by the river. As my attention shifted to the starry sky above, the falling star incident came back to me.
“You know,” I said, “when I watched the light show that night, I looked up to the sky and a star fell down onto me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was looking at a couple of stars that was slightly bigger and brighter than any other stars. Suddenly, one of them literally dropped from the sky and hit me at the back of my head.” I explained, “I know it sounds ridiculous but it’s actually true. I woke up in the hospital right after and I found that no one but me saw the falling star.” I waited for a laugh or even a gasp, but as I turned to him, his eyes were glued intently onto mine.
“That’s not ridiculous at all.” he said, “because I saw them falling from the sky too.”
My eyes widened. “Y…you saw?”
“Yeah,” he replied as he waved his fingers in the air to draw a slanted line, “I was standing at the very front of the river bank when it happened. One of them zoomed to this side. The other one went to the opposite side where I was standing and hit against my forehead. The next thing I knew, I was in a coma for a few hours.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. How come he had a similar story to mine? Was he following a script or was he telling the truth? And then, I remembered the black ink patterns I saw on his arm earlier. Could that be the answer to this mystery?
“I also woke up to this some sort of tattoo, but I had no idea who wrote it.” he gradually showed off his right arm. The quote was in curvy handwriting, yet it looked so familiar. It said:
I wish that love is like a constellation.
“That’s my wish!” I exclaimed.
“Huh?”
“I wrote this on my Tanzaku paper last night! My wish must have been copied onto your arm!”
“But do you know who actually did it?”
“Hmm…it couldn’t be Hana because I was with her. Plus, no one could possibly copy my handwriting.”
“What about yours? Do you have something like this?” he raised his arm in front of him.
“As a matter of fact, I do.” I answered and raised mine next to his. His face lit up with amusement.
“I will search for you in the stars” I read the words, “This is your wish, isn’t it?” He smiled in agreement. He reached his hand out and drew an imaginary line underneath the words on my arm. This touch of his caused my heart to beat irregularly, just like the time when he saved me from falling. Unexpectedly, the tattooed wishes slowly faded and disappeared off our skin like ashes. Kiyu and I stared at what we just saw. In the blink of an eye, a glowing star the size of an actual diamond hovered in front of us.
“Is it UFO?” Kiyu gasped.
“I don’t think so.”
The star bounced lightly in midair and flew away. We seemed to read each other’s minds instantly because we chased it down the lane. It finally stopped in front of one of the bamboo trees. From its brilliant light, I recognized the violet, rectangular paper, which was still intact. What was new to me was a light blue paper tied at the end of a branch next to mine. Both of the papers apparently touched each other like magnets.
“How come our wishes are next to each other?” Kiyu questioned.
“Could it be this star?” I guessed.
“I mean,” he glanced at the sky, “Since we both got hit by a star, I wonder if it has something to do with a ghost.”
“Or,” I added, “it could Orihime and Hikoboshi.”
Kiyu raised one eyebrow as if I were insane. I laughed and pointed at the guide star that was still floating at our faces, “They’re right here! Both Orihime and Hikoboshi are joined together into this star to get us together.”
Kiyu stared at the star for a good minute before he finally snapped his fingers. “Ah! Hikoboshi must be the star who is after me and Orihime must be the one who is after you!” he realized.
“That’s right,” I giggled, “I guess they see us as something more than just acquaintances.”
“Something more, huh?” Kiyu smirked.
My cheeks burned. I quickly looked away. The star shortly flew up back into the sky and turned back into the two special stars in their exact positions, just as Kiyu and I remembered. It was cool to see that the cosmic lovers used such magic to tell us that we will find one another to love for the rest of our lives. Somehow I wished Orihime, the seamstress, and Hikoboshi, the cow herder, were still alive, because I wanted to thank them for making me believe that destiny in love does exist.
As Kiyu and I left the park together, I could never forget how his almond-shaped eyes twinkled in the moonlight, how his smile made my heart go crazy, how his inquisitive aura never failed to amuse me, and how his vision on creativity expanded my views on life. There was so much more I wanted to know about him. I wanted to get closer to him, just like how the Milky Way led the two long-lost characters to eternal love.