Raise That Glass of Jubilee, New Chapter Is About To Be Written (Graduation June 2015)

When I was young, I dreamed about living or studying in an English-speaking country. Watching Hollywood movies with exciting and bittersweet graduation scenes made me feel envious of the actors because the only graduation ceremony I had was way back in elementary school and I can't really remember how it went. It's a pity that there was no graduation ceremony in secondary school back in Malaysia and I'm surprised that I didn't have the chance to celebrate my years of being a student and to conclude my school experiences...until today.

I was supposed to be excited because I'm finally graduating, but I was like really nervous ever since this morning. I went to New West campus to volunteer with Japanese students as usual and the first thing I saw once I stepped through the doors was girls in dresses and guys in suits. I was like...oh crap no one mentions about dress code on graduation day, how do they all dress up? I felt like I'm the only girl in a blue-black shirt, skinny jeans, black Converse, and a light denim jacket. The weather was gloomy and a little chilly this morning, but even though I felt comfy with my jacket on I still felt out of place because of the seniors who looked so prepared for their big moment. I wasn't alone though. I bumped into a friend in the sky train and we chat for a little while on our way to campus. And then half an hour before the ceremony, I bumped into a couple of my friends and they said they should have given me flowers. XD

I also felt stupid because I didn't eat enough during lunch time. I only had a 6-inch sandwich from Subway, that was why I could easily hear my stomach growling when the honorary guests were giving speeches during the ceremony. I didn't even listen to everything they said because all I think about was "Please let us just get our photos taken, show off our credentials, and shake hands with the college board already!". XD

I was excited when I got my graduation gown and credentials; I really felt like a graduate. But when I followed the queue of graduates down the stairs of the theater, I can't even tell you how fast my heart was beating because it felt more like a show rather than a typical ceremony. I sat with the other graduates on the stage right in front of an audience, and I immediately felt the back of my shirt stained with sweat. Thanks a lot theater with not even a single air-conditioner. :P

I knew I should have shown a toothy smile even with my Japanese crocked teeth, but the atmosphere felt formal despite the sudden cheering and whistling from the audience who represented their respective graduates. Dang it, I should have smiled big instead of showing serious closed lips. And one of the people who I shook hands with was my first creative writing instructor. I remember when I was a rookie in a creative writing class. Boy was I nervous! I had a really hard time raising my hand and commenting in a loud clear voice. I even had trouble giving feedback to my peers. But as I took more creative writing classes, I learn to adapt in the workshop environment and surprisingly I've learnt a lot from those classes. They make me a better aspiring writer and I'll definitely apply those new skills and knowledge in my writing.

I hope the instructor I shook hands with won't recognize me because I remember how embarrassing I was in his class. XD

Honestly, being in that graduation ceremony felt like a moment I deserve in my life. I mean, here I am, graduating from a college in an English speaking country. It is definitely a privilege being here and I'll never forget this day. I may be jealous at other people who manage to transfer to universities to study for bachelor or master degrees, but I know that envying other people's success won't help with my own success. I may not get what I wanted, but I have to find some other way so that a path will lead to my future career. And I think that I have not tried harder to be bolder, to find more about myself or even to change myself, but I know that it's not too late to do so.

Anyway, all I can say for now is that I've hold a sparkling glass of delicious raspberry+strawberry punch in the air while saying to myself that I've received an Associate of Arts degree in Creative Writing! And I'm proud of it! Cheers! :) I'm eager to hold my next glass of celebratory punch!