Recap: Return of the King (Japan Special Event- April 2 to 4, 2022)

After 2 whole years of not being able to go to a real-life concert, I couldn't have felt more alive than before as I joined the last day of Super Junior's Japan Special Event on April 4 this year. It was also Eunhyuk's birthday, so I was thrilled to celebrate the special day in this fan meeting. 

SMT vendors near Saitama Super Arena

The weather wasn't very friendly to us that whole day. I had to wait in line for about 2 hours on that chilly, rainy morning. Even my Vessi shoes were not very resistant to the wet ground. Once the line reached the end, the SMT bus vendors decided to open the stores. 

I got myself their chicken burger, cookie set and sweets box. The burger was cold, but the fried chicken was crispy. The cookie set consisted of three cookies in one packet, and each cookie had the signatures and initials of all 9 members, including Shindong's. Unfortunately, the clumsy self in me dropped them by accident. The good news was not all of them were cracked. And as for the taste, I would give it a 3 out of 5. They were slightly dry. I also couldn't really pinpoint what flavour they were. It wasn't butter or vanilla. And to my surprise and disappointment, the "sweet" was just a bag of corn puffs. I have had doubts about buying food from that food truck/ store. 😂  On the bright side, I got two photocards and one badge for free. Even though I didn't get one with my two ultimate biases: Kyuhyun and Eunhyuk, I was still happy to get nice freebies. 

chicken burger

SMT's sweet box

corn puffs

Freebies: Heechul photocard, Leeteuk photocard and Shindong badge.

Cookies with members' initials and signatures

After eating, I went to line up for the goods stand. And boy, was the line super long! It stretched to the outside of the arena. To my relief, the line got shorter every few minutes. Initially, I thought of getting a tote bag, but it was sold out when I was near the vendors. 😢 Instead, I got myself a Eunyuk fan and a clear photocard. The clear photocards were sold randomly, and so I got Ryeowook. 

A giant poster near the arena

Goods list

Eunhyuk fan and Ryeowook clear photocard

The arena opened at around 3:30 in the afternoon. I went in with one of my Japanese mutuals. I want to give a big shoutout to her because she offered me one of her two tickets. It was lovely meeting her. We both didn't expect where we would sit because it turned out our seats were in the middle of the arena! We were sitting in the center sitting area. I screamed and stared at my mutual in disbelief and giddiness. We were going to see the members up close!?!? This is literally an ELF's dream! Sitting in such a VIP spot with the stage in front of us. I decided not to record videos or take pictures during the event because I didn't want to get caught. 

This was where we sat!

Intro

As the lights dimmed, "Way" was the pre-opening song. The members hadn't appeared yet, but my friend was in tears. This was her first-ever seeing SJ in person, so she was over the moon. Then, we watched the introductory VCR about ELF staying together with SJ forever. Finally, the familiar tune of the SJ anthem, "Superman",  blasted from the speakers. It was my dream to see the members on throne chairs. They looked stunning in their first outfits: black blazers with sparkly gold embroidery, white long-sleeved shirts and black pants. 

The second song was "Black Suit". They walked down the stage, and I had to pinch myself to remind myself that I was living in a dream. They were glowing. Their visuals were even more beautiful than what I saw online. 

Then, they started their first talking segment. My favourite part was when Eunhyuk sang the birthday song and the other members groaned at him. 😂 I guess he lowkey expected that there would be a surprise birthday party later on.  Another moment I remember was Heechul sang a part of the chorus from D&E's "Oppa Oppa", but he sang "Oppai Oppai" instead of "Oppa Oppa". Eunhyuk reminded him that it's supposed to be "Oppa Oppa". 😆😂 And if I'm not mistaken, I remembered that four of them took turns to talk while the others went off the stage to change into their colourful outfits from their "Callin' " comeback. 

They moved on to a couple more songs, "House Party" and "Devil". In "House Party", they performed on the stage in the center. In the middle of the song (when they lined up and did the worm thing), Siwon tickled Eunyuk's waist! Eunhyuk yelped and giggled. 😂 And during the bridge's choreography in "Devil",  Yesung took Shindong's place. He posed a cute heart. Eunhyuk did another cute pose. Leeteuk sat on the stage with his legs glued straight and bounced a few times. The other didn't copy his moves. 😆

Show & Tell 

Each member sat on a row of chairs in the center of the stage. I was speechless by each member's radiant beauty. Donghae had the brightest smile I've ever seen. Yesung was standing at a spot close to where we were sitting, so my friend was happy. Siwon was damn tall! 😯  He got off his chair when he laughed.  😆 Kyuhyun was handsome in his blue coat. Heechul looked gorgeous in a ponytail. Eunhyuk was so pretty in pink. Leeteuk looked grand in white. 

Their mission was to share their favourite photos or photos of what they did during quarantine. Ryeowook went first. He shared adorable pictures of himself and the members. One of his photos was with Zhoumi, and the members mentioned his name too! Yesung chipped in about Ryeowook's bad drinking habit: Ryeowook vomited on the floor, and Yesung had to carry him home. 😂 I was so moved and happy for this OT15 crumb! 😭

Ryeowooks shared this photo, and the group mentioned Zhoumi!

Another picture Ryeowook shared was a selfie of him and Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun immediately went to hug Ryeowook! Aww, Kyuwook! 😭💕

Next was Donghae. He had prepared some photos that made us all explode with laughter. He recently had a fight with Ryeowook and Eunhyuk, so he exposed candid images of both members as payback. Eunhyuk imitated the picture of him glaring angrily, and we all died laughing. 😂 The members also didn't expect Donghae to have a photoshopped image of Siwon with a shiny bald head! I kid you not; it's one of the funniest pictures I've ever seen! 😂😂😂

Donghae's candid photo of Yesung
Credits go to the owner.

Donghae's candid photo of Eunhyuk
Credits go to the owner.

Donghae's photo of bald Siwon
Credits go to the owner.

Then, it was Yesung's turn. He shared the most photos among them, and Kyuhyun joked that he wanted to go to the washroom. 😂 We all know that Yesung likes taking pictures to keep them as memories. He presented a bunch of old photos of him together with the members. The members teased him, but they also let him talk as he shared what he liked about his pictures. 

Siwon's photos were pretty much himself in cherry blossom views. The members pointed out that he looked like the father from the classic Japanese anime "Crayon Shin-Chan". And gosh, they were right! 😂😂

Credits go to the owner.

Kyuhyun talked about him playing online games while taking a bath and eating a couple of his favourite Japanese dishes. He shared 3 photos since they had to save time. 

Heechul got everyone hollering and chuckling with his photos of his fellow members taking the Covid test. He shared a photo of Ryeowook and Eunhyuk getting swabbed. The culprits were not having it. 

😂😂😂

Heechul's photo of Eunhyuk getting swabbed.
Credits go to the owner. 

But that's not all. Eunhyuk got his revenge by showing a couple of photos of Heechul getting swabbed in his Covid test! Heechul was flustered. 😂😂😂

And last but not least, Leeteuk shared food photos and several random ones (which I don't really remember. 😅

Ballads

The show & tell segment was longer than they thought, but they transitioned smoothly to ballads to accompany the gloomy weather: "Raining Spell for Love", "One More Chance", "Lunar Eclipse", and "Callin' ". Ryeowook hit his high notes just as flawless as ever. He even sang Donghae's lines of the chorus at the near end of "One More Chance"! 😭💙 Eunhyuk's nightingale part in "Callin' " made my jaw drop. Whoever turned a blind eye to their singing needed to get their ears checked! Everyone in this group is a polished, talented singer. Each of the members has a distinctive, colourful and soulful voice. 

D&E medley

Was this how the duo sing LIVE if they were to have their own concert?? Because I now am manifesting to attend their next D&E show one day! 😮👏 They sang "Sunrise", "B.A.D" and "Oppa Oppa". I was hoping that Eunhyuk would walk to my side of the stage, but he didn't...😞 Still, I saw close-up shots of his face on the giant screen in front of the humongous auditorium was incredibly handsome. 😍💘

Eunhyuk's birthday surprise

The group surprised the birthday boy with a rectangular, white cake with blue frosting and strawberries. Leeteuk sang the birthday song in English; he even added, "Happy birthday, dear my Eunhyuk". Awwww! Donghae was holding a camera, and he was about to move Eunhyuk's head towards the cake so that he would be cake-faced. But Eunhyuk refused. So, his best friend suggested the members smear a finger full of cake icing onto parts of his face. And they agreed. Donghae dabbed a splotch of the blue icing onto Eunhyuk's left cheek. Siwon smudged a big one under his nose. Yesung did his onto Eunhyuk's right cheek. A drop of Yesung's icing fell onto Eunhyuk's shirt. 😂😂😂 And Leeteuk dashed a long line of icing to give Eunhyuk a unibrow. 😂😂😂😂😂 Donghae shortly shot Eunhyuk's new look with his camera. Siwon and Yesung took selfies too. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 I can't with these idiots!! 

Pre-closing

We danced with our lightsticks to the songs "You & I" and " Wow! Wow! Wow! ". It was my first time dancing to "You & I", and I had fun following the members' moves. They walked in a line down all sides of the stage, waving and smiling. 

Pearl Sapphire Blue ocean

The members got their phones ready as they recorded us making our signature ocean. The hall became pitch black, but our fan wands were like stars illuminating a night sky. Section by section, the audience moved their light sticks up and down. My friend and I watched and waited until our turn to make a wave. And it was worth it. It was just as magical as the pearl sapphire ocean I first witnessed in real life when I attended my first Super Show two years ago. 

poster for a fan project

Closing

This was the perfect song to close the show! Everyone danced to the music in sync with the group. We were also holding the blue poster for the members to see ELF Japan's fan project. I felt like we were a lot more connected with them. We knew that the members were happy to perform again, and we were delighted to see them in an actual event. 

The best part was when they were about to finish the song, explosions echoed in the air, and blue streamers rained down on us. My friend grabbed a handful of the streamers and stuffed them into her bag once the show ended. I noticed a lot of other ELFs did that too. I wondered why people do that. It wasn't till I spoke to some of my fellow ELF friends online that people keep streamers as a piece of memory. Darn it! I should have grabbed one that night! 😭

streamers all over the floor

Surprise video from ELF Japan

Just as the members were about to leave, a video flashed on the main screen. Several lucky Japanese fans said sweet, thankful messages to Super Junior. One particular fanboy mentioned Yesung as his bias, and Yesung whooped happily. 😄 When the video finished playing, Heechul, Eunhyuk, Leeteuk and Donghae wept. 😢 Heechul even held a tissue to wipe his eyes. They were very touched by the video that they waved goodbye to us until the stage was empty and the lights were on. 

Final thoughts

It's a bummer that Shindong wasn't there for the entire event because he was (and still is now) recovering from Covid. The group sang, danced, and rapped Shindong's lines in their songs that evening. And they all sounded great. In their group photos, they even saved a space for Shindong. Some even exchanged parts in some of the songs, and they sounded amazing! As expected from the K-Pop kings! 

It's also a pity that we couldn't shout or respond vocally and loudly. The only way we could do to reply to SJ's questions and respond to their comments was by clapping. For instance, we clapped rhythmically to say Heechul's catchphrase "Nikko Nikko Ni". During the bridge part in Super Junior D&E's "Oppa Oppa", the screens in front of the audience showed clapping emojis. The emojis signalled us to clap as a way to replace saying the word "Oppa". 

Hearing them sing was a blessing to my ears.

Adoring their looks and moves was a feast to my eyes. 

Laughing along with them was healing to my being. 

Dancing along with them in several songs, waving our lightsticks to the beat of the music and creating the pearl sapphire blue ocean was a new imprint on my memory archive. 

Everything that night was surreal. 

I met two more of my mutuals. One of them gave me two of her old lightsticks. 

The other mutual had a gift for me. It's a small container with lip balm inside, and apparently, she made it herself! 😮 Everyone I met that day was so friendly and generous, and I'm very thankful to have found this fantastic community. 

I miss them so much already! 😭I don't think the "blue light ecstasy" that is swirling in my entire mind and heart doesn't wear off till a few more days. I wish I could turn back time to relive that unforgettable day. This is definitely my highlight of 2022 so far. But there will be Super Show 9 soon this year, so I'll have to be mentally and financially ready for another SJ and ELF date. 

It's all up to myself

For the past two years or more, I've always hoped that I would follow a creative path. But people have been putting expectations on me to be on the safe line. My family and teachers praised me for having a somewhat stable job in Japan, but I'm not happy with where I am now. Maybe all I think about is why am I not ending up in my ideal life. I envy people who commit their time to pursue their biggest dreams in the creative field. They do whatever they want, and they are happy with where they are now. I honestly don't want to talk to my parents about my job or anything because I know that they'll ask me the same questions every time I catch up with them on weekends. I don't feel like keeping in touch with my old friends because I don't feel like sharing what I've been doing. I've been trying hard not to fall into the pit of misery by focusing on what I love on weekends. However, two days of me-time is not enough for me to accomplish anything. I can only manage to write my novel once a week. I can only focus on learning Korean once a week. I can only create a bullet journal layout once a month. I want more time to focus on my personal goals. 8 hours of working outside of my passions drain me so darn much. I don't really look forward to working every single day because I get tongue-tied and stutter when I speak in front of students at least once a week. It's really embarrassing and I can't bear looking at the kids snickering or looking at me with surprised and awkward looks. I wish I shouldn't have listened to my parents and been a goody-two-shoes or a people pleaser. 

However, I came across Cafe Maddy's podcast today.

Cafe Maddy Podcast (Episode 2)

In this episode, she talked about her full-time job as a dentist and side job as a content creator. I first found her through Tiktok. I love how aesthetically-beautiful her cooking videos are. And when I found out that she posted longer vlogs on YouTube, I subscribed to her channel right away. I'm impressed by how well-made her videos are despite the fact that she has an 8-hours-a-day job. Anyway, in this podcast episode, Maddy talked about how she managed to balance her dentist life and content creator life. She would find whatever free time she has to cook, make videos, and do what she loves. She doesn't really like her dentist job, but it's her personal projects that keep her going in her life. She would be comforted and energized by her commitment to cooking and connecting with people. I can totally relate to this. I love weekends and public holidays more than working days because I get to focus on what I love: writing, learning Korean, watching YouTube, designing bullet journal spreads, learning new creative writing techniques, immersing in my fangirl mode about Super Junior @ my ultimate K-Pop group, and connecting with my fellow Super Junior fan friends. I feel alive whenever I'm alone in my apartment and commit all of my free time indulging in these things. Maybe life doesn't have to be all about converting my hobbies and passions into full-time careers. I may be sour and hopeless about my not-so-perfect performance in my current job as an ALT (Assistant Language Teacher) in Japan, but my job doesn't define who I really am. I don't have to lean onto validation from my family or anyone else about how "successful" I look. If I enlighten my days with things that make me happy, that's more valuable than just going into the neutrality of what life is like on the surface. I feel that, as a teacher, I'm one of those emotionless employees who drag themselves by the force of society to work for money and "success". But as a writer, artist, K-culture enthusiast, and dreamer with goals yet to achieve, I hope that one day I'll be able to live my dream life. 

This is just a slice of what I've been inner-monologing for a hot minute. Since I haven't blogged in a while, I'll post more reflective thoughts here very soon. 

The pearl sapphire ocean, my kind of haven

Lights dimmed, signalling ELF (Everlasting Friends-Super Junior fandom name) to turn on their light sticks. A galaxy of blue stars twinkled all over the arena. I waved my first Super Junior cheering wand in unison with the rest to the bonus track of "Don't Don" album called "Song For You." The flat LED bulb that shaped of the Super Show 8's red and blue logo flashed a glowing blue light. Minutes later, a VCR was played on a gigantic screen to introduce nine worldwide-beloved, multitalented, dorky men. Shortly, booming sounds of a kick drum followed by rhythmic clapping echoed from speakers. The screen then split into half and was automatically pulled as doors, revealing Super Junior. They were dressed in white dress shirts, red belts, and black pants. As they sang one of their latest songs, "The Crown," the heat that was swirling indoors and stress as an adult and foreign worker in Japan evaporated from my body. We all stood up, waved our light sticks to the beat, and sang along.

It is my first Super Show ever. I'm impressed by everything this concert has offered. The members wore clean-cut suits and casual outfits. They danced from intense choreography to chilling on a square-shaped lifting stage, which was located in the middle of the concert space. They swoon us with their handsomeness and would switch to silly faces and playful pranks.

The stage was shaped in a geometric 8 figure. It is not just the eighth Super Show, but the number eight also looks like the infinity symbol. That's how the theme of the world tour "Infinite time" came to being because Super Junior wants to show us that our loving idol-fan relationship is infinite. It takes 10 solid years for every member of Super Junior to be a whole group (well kinda...two members are absent) after completing their compulsory military service. And so, our amazing, sweet, thoughtful senior artists decide to surprise us fans with nostalgic songs, creative song arrangement, and engaging communication.

Some of my favourite moments from the concert are:

• Kyuhyun, my ultimate bias, did the dance break instead of Eunhyuk in the 2011 global hit "Mr. Simple." I'm so happy that the members gave Kyuhyun the spotlight in that performance. 
• More solo dance parts for the members, including Shindong, Donghae, Eunhyuk, Kyuhyun, Ryeowook, and Yesung. I love that everyone in the group has a role for themselves to show off their skills. That's what I call multitalented, all-rounded, Hallyu kings!
• What would it be like if there are new SJ sub-units back in the day?

      - Siwon and Leeteuk

       Accompanied by several backup dancers, this unexpectedly harmonious duo performed an entirely new song entitled "I Need My Hairspray." This English line is the start of the chorus. They used hairsprays as props, and the screens were lit up with colourful splatters of spray paint. The song itself sounded funky, and I really hope that they will release it as an official track in their next album. 

      - KRY dance trio

       The holy trinity of Super Junior has improved their dancing skills tremendously after being in the dance group for so many years! SJ is, of course, not only a vocal group but also a dance group and a variety show group. They're a group that can do anything. And so when these three main vocalists had their solo dance, I was stunned that I nearly dropped my light stick. Yesung's sharp moves got my wig snatched. Kyuhyun's my bae, smooth dance, had me falling more in love with him. 

Ryeowook, especially, slightly wrecked my bias list with his sexy, fluid moves. He's like the Korean version of Lady Gaga! Hot damn!

       - D&E&S (Donghae, Eunhyuk, and Shindong)

        I am pretty sure this song sounded familiar. It's not an official track, but it's performed in D&E's "The D&E" tour. And so since Shindong directed the seductive but hilarious VCR for this song back then, the dynamic duo decided to let him dance alongside them in Super Show 8. And boy, it was awesome! I hope that they will release this song as an official track as well, even though I don't know the freaking title. XD 

• Little details that stood out, such as gestures, special effects, and visual animation. 
• Almost cried when "Somebody New" was sung. The idols wore casual outfits, and they were smiling from ear to ear as they sat together on stage. I was delighted seeing them together. 
• Creative twists in song arrangement: Siwon held one hand in front of him and curled it as if he's cranking the volume of the music. He "adjusted" the volume low and high that caused the sound operator to obey his command. That's dope! Another creative detail is the special effects/ visual animation displayed on the screens. Whoever created the filters did a fantastic job. The filters vary from blurry, smoky greyscale on shirtless Donghae to neon lyrics on Siwon and Leeteuk during their performance of "I Need A Hairspray." Super Show 8 is an upgrade indeed! They also did a hip hop rendition of Super Junior T's Rokugo! Like...WHAT???? GENIUS!!!! RapKyu led the first few lines, and he killed it! They sat on the stage's stairs, and Shindong did an outstretched "Ahhh!" in the middle of his verse. That was too funny to resist! I would like to see the full audio of this! 
• Having a good time with Super Junior. I learned how to wave my light stick in different angles and rhythms just by observing the fans around me, such as moving it up and down, left and right, and to the middle. They all seemed to be very familiar with the wand-waving patterns. So I copied them until I'm familiar with the light stick "choreography" in seconds. Each SJ member also stood at corners of the large stage, and we followed them waving the light sticks to the songs "Bambina" and "Wow! Wow! Wow!". I probably have to start rehearsing the light stick moves to these two songs, because I want to attend to more Super Junior concerts in Japan soon. I even get to say the fan chants together with the others, which makes me feel involved in the audience. 

My best moment in this magical night is doing the waves in the pearl sapphire ocean. At the near end of the 3-hours concert, the front rows went "Whoooo!" and glided their light sticks in a fluid motion. It then transmitted up to the higher rows. Instantly, I swayed mine together with the rest sitting at my row. My dream of making waves in this beautiful blue world has finally come true. We did it a couple more times until Eunhyuk's voice echoed through the hall, "I say, Wow Wow! You say, Wow!" We repeated saying "Wow" a few times, and the boys returned with an energetic performance of the song "Wow! Wow! Wow!". This song represents Super Show in Japan so well, and I couldn't be happier to sing along together with everyone. The concert ended with "Too Many Beautiful Girls." And I was sad that time flew by that the show had to come to an end. 

Why I want to treasure this moment forever:

• Fans of different ages, from teens to middle-aged, gathered in Saitama Super Arena. And I've met four of my online friends in person. I've made new friends, and I feel accepted by the community. They even gave me little gifts, and I felt so welcomed and touched by their sweetness and kindness. We may come from different backgrounds and countries, but we share one thing in common, and that is we love Super Junior. 
• The whole world should watch Super Junior LIVE! 
• Being in the pearl sapphire blue ocean is in my bucket list, and it's finally fulfilled! It felt surreal and magical to eventually become a part of the pearl sapphire ocean. I'm surrounded and empowered by Super Junior's fandom colour, Pearl Sapphire Blue.  
• The idol-fan relationship both Super Junior and Everlasting Friends share is indeed a special bond. And I hope our love for this phenomenal group will remain enchanted in bright blue stars and be spread to the future of Korean pop music. 

We're Everlasting Friends! Urineun ELF! Super Junior, I love you so so so so so so much! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

*Photos taken by me and watermark added by me. (Michele Hii~Twitter account @MichHiiELF)

Inspiration (new poem)

Hey everyone! How's it going? I feel that I haven't written a poem in a freaking longgggg time, and so I thought it would be fun to use a random word generator to create a list of random words for me to write a new poem with.

Here are the list of words:

Random words list

• precious
• prevent
• gem
• minute
• ashamed
• reader
• cactus
• hum
• imaginary
• problem
• receive

It took me about a month (plus weekends of procrastination) to get this new project done. And let me tell you, I feel so productive and accomplished for finally completing this poem!

This is the draft of my poem.

An idea can be as precious as a hidden gem

or as useless as smoke that evaporated in thin air. 

I may be like every other writer in this world

who wants to prevent from being stuck

in the middle of a crossroad.

Whenever I’m brainstorming for personal art,  

my inner voice reminds me 

that I should not be ashamed 

of my poor resume of published works

and not be intimidated by criticism

from readers, familiar or new. 

Inspiration will come at any minute

and it is up to me

whether it’ll become a story

that resonates with my style and heart.  

How I see the world will provide inspiration.

A vision may be ready in my mind,

just waiting to be transformed into smooth brush strokes onto paper. 

There are times when

ideas would lead me to the opposite direction

than what I’ve imagined on what I’m heading towards

like having a finger pricked by a cactus’ thorns.

But at times,

words would appear to my luck

like an unconscious hum to a long-forgotten song,

leading to bittersweet playbacks on the stereo. 

When a spark of inspiration hasn’t illuminated in my head yet,

it is not a problem,

but an opportunity for me to find that wandering light. 

Time will take for an imaginary realm to be mapped in my mind

and once thoughts became 

My creation will, in turn, become inspiration for others to receive.

And this is my polished product. 

Inspiration 
Written by: Michele Hii

An idea can be as precious as a hidden gem

or as futile as steam evaporated in thin air. 

I may be like every other writer in this world

who wants to prevent from being stuck

in the middle of a crossroad.

Whenever I brainstorm for personal art,  

my inner voice reminds me 

that I should not be ashamed 

of my weak resume of published works

and not be intimidated by judgment

from readers, familiar or new. 

Inspiration will come at any minute,

and it is up to me

to decide if it will become an aesthetic

that resonates with my style and essence.  

The way I see the world is like

the tone performed

for lines of a distinct film scene.

A vision may be ready in my mind,

just waiting to transform into smooth brush strokes onto paper. 

There are times when

ideas would lead me to the opposite direction

rather than what I imagined on what I am heading towards

like having a finger pricked by thorns of a cactus.

But at times,

words would appear to my luck

like an unexpected hum to a long-forgotten song,

leading to bittersweet playbacks on the stereo. 

When a spark hasn't ignited in my head yet,

it is not a problem,

but a moment for me to find that wandering light. 

Time will take for an imaginary realm to map in my mind.

Once thoughts become literary existence,

it will become the key for others to receive.

I've also created an Instagram version of my poem. 

Hope you'll enjoy reading it, and feel free to let me know what you think in the comments below! ^.^

If You See Me (Introversion/INFJ)

If You See Me

If you see me

wearing a poker face

while listening to music and staring into space,

I'm indulged in my own mental world,

reflecting on past actions and experiences,

and thinking about what I should do 

to improve myself and

to make my future self proud. 

If you see me

locking myself in my room after a tiring day at work,

I'm like a phone that just died. 

Solitude is my charger:

social media, warm cup of tea, favourite tunes, and comfy bed.

This way, my physical, social, and mental batteries can be recharged. 

If you see me 

scowl at music or noise that I hate

I hope you'll understand that I'm sensitive to unpleasant sounds.

If I avoid large groups or social events,

I wish you would acknowledge my cold attitude,

for I can't fit in this verbal society. 

If you see me doubting on why I'm different,

I hate being in this extroverted world,

because I feel that my speech doesn't cooperate with your hearing

and my view of the world is far different from yours

so why would you force me to think like you

or even be like you?

If you see me
hiding in a corner,
I want you to leave me alone for a little while
for I'm contemplating whether my flaws are as valuable as my strengths
or whether my appearance is as glowing as yours.
Your criticism is like a spear piercing my confidence away,
and I can't help but belittling myself.

If you see me
consoling a dear friend,
I'm that person who is there to hear complaints and troubles,
and I'll lend my shoulder for him or her to cry on,
or I'll wrap my arms round him or her to hug.
I'll do my best to give advice,
and it's an introversive trait I'm proud of.

If you see me
writing or drawing,
that means my creative mind and soul are activated.
Inspiration vitalizes me to rekindle imagination that was once lost,
and that's why I want to reach out to people with my inner voice.

So if you see me
in a cafe
with a cup of matcha latte, a notebook, and a laptop,
please do not invade my bubble,
for I'm just being myself. 

*           *          *

Being an INFJ...

Hey all! Long time no post! >.< The poem above is inspired by Debbie Tung's graphic novel called "A Quiet Girl In A Noisy World", Myers Briggs's personality test, and a good number of videos about introversion from a YouTube channel called "Psych2Go". Thanks to all these awesome online sources, I'm able to understand more about myself. When I got my result from Myers Briggs's test, I thought I'm the only INFJ (advocate) that exists in this planet. But it turns out that a good friend of mine is also an INFJ! And Debbie Tung, the author of the graphic novel, is also an INFJ. Even though the description from Myers Briggs's website says that only 1-2% of the world's population are INFJ's, I have a feeling that there's a lot more INFJs that I expect, because I have a feeling that we're hiding away from the chit-chat society, but at the same time, we want to share our opinions and masterpieces with someone. We're starving for constant improvement. We don't want to doubt ourselves all the time, and so we want to keep on growing and changing so that we can be a better version of ourselves. 

I honestly feel like the world is expecting all humans to be extroverts. What I mean is ever since I was young, I think people don't understand my introversive self. Whether I'm in school or social events, everyone expects me to be social. In school, every student is to raise their hands whenever they know an answer to a question, or a question they're not afraid to ask in the middle of a lesson. The worst part is group activities and oral presentations are compulsory, and even though these things are one of my worst nightmares, I have no choice but to suck it up. I make sure that I've prepared at least a script or a set of flash cards so that I can be reminded about my key points and supporting points. What I find discouraging about myself is that I'm not as intelligent as all of the other students, because everyone around me have facts and impromptu ideas absorbed in their heads and are always ready to share with the class. I, on the other hand, is the only one who listens and stares at my chicken scrawls. This is somewhat embarrassing, because I think I don't know how to contribute verbally or better word, socially, in front of a group of people. And I think I'm always the abnormal one in class. Same goes to social events. I've tried to avoid big parties, clubs, and church conferences as much as I can, because even though I can do small talk, I don't know how to extend those casual conversations. Every single time. Plus, I have no interest on hanging out in these public places, or should I say, an extrovert's ideal getaways. I can't even squeeze in a group discussion, because I can't think of anything to say, or if I do, I can't find the right time to blurt it out even though I've repeated my words in my head more than five times.

Some people even hurt my feelings, because comments about me being quiet and not social enough are just as painful as a stab in the heart. They told me that they were shy when they were young, but as they got older, they force themselves to be more social so that they can break free from their fear of speaking. They even ask me why I'm too shy, too scared to speak, not even asking questions, not having a good sense of humour, or not even saying anything. I think they don't want to feel left out...maybe that's why they've became extroverts. I wish I can be like them, the kind of people that are brave enough to destroy their silent selves and to blend in the loud, cheerful, enthusiastic, energetic, talkative planet Earth. And for those people who criticize on the way I behave in society, I wish I can just erase them away from my head...or even my life. However, those criticism stays as wounds of my past.

"One size fits all" doesn't exist in an introvert's dictionary. Introverts prefer to be in a quiet, serene environment. Like nature. Or for me personally, I love allowing my creative juices flow when I'm in a cafe with both interior and food aesthetics. And when there's noises hovering around the room, I'll put my earbuds on and play whatever songs that please me. Introverts need space and time to reflect on their thoughts and actions. They want to spread their wings in fantasy realms whirling in their heads, and spilling creativity onto canvas. They may be uncomfortable to speak in front of people, but they want to show to the world that their opinions matter. They will find a way to reach out to people with their written words or visuals. Our minds are made up of a constantly expanding puzzle, because there will always be a new slot saved for a building block of idea to be inserted into. And that building block will inspire us to develop new skills for us to improve ourselves.

There are times when I think that I'm a mistake and a failure, because I'm not as extroverted as the others around me. But...I'm still living. I'm still breathing. I am writing this post (a super personal post) on my blog right at this hour. And I'm still growing even though I'm already...ahem...25. Looking back to where I am now, I remember the times when I listen to a friend's story and I give the best advice/opinion I can think of to that friend, because I want to help that friend. What this extroverted world is missing out of is listeners, and introverts, including myself, should be proud that they are listeners that can be depended on. Hearing is sharing, and sharing is caring ;). I shouldn't feel pressured by people that I should "speak more" or "be social", because being me is normal. Being me makes me feel special.

Lastly, if you're interested in finding out about your Myers Briggs personality, you can take the free 16 personalities test here: https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test. And as always, see you in the next post! <3 

Whether you're a Yappie or not, you just have to be you. (My dream of meeting Wong Fu Productions has come true!)

I am still in awe that I've got to meet the creators of my number one favourite YouTube channel, Wong Fu Productions  on August 8th, 2018. I've been a big fan of their videos for 6 years now, and I can't believe my dream of meeting them has finally came true. I was stoked about this event ever since I bought a VIP ticket three weeks ago. 

I arrived at Vancity Theatre an hour before the event. One girl told me that we weren't allowed to enter in the theatre until 1pm, so I decided to wait at the back of the six-people-queue. To my disappointment, there was no free Wi-Fi available (unless we were inside the theatre), so I listened to the new K-Pop songs I downloaded on my phone for a few minutes. I made sure that I had plenty of phone battery for photos and videos. One hour passed, and the queue was almost at the end of the building. The door wasn't opened yet. I was spaced out in daydream realm, picturing myself meeting Wong Fu Productions in the flesh. Suddenly, cheers and screams made me jump. I turned to see Phil approached from the bushes with a camera close to his face. I nearly dropped the big paper bag of snacks I was holding. (The snacks were a gift for Wong Fu Productions. I included a card as well.)

As he jogged past the queue while holding his camera to get a good view of us, I covered my mouth with my right hand to control myself from shrieking. Worst case scenario would be me losing my voice when I did shriek. I was stunned that Phil was literally in the same area. Jen and Wes were there too! Wes was holding a camera as well, and he high fived the first two fans at the front  of the line. When the three representatives of Wong Fu Productions went inside the theater, I could feel myself shaking with excitement. A volunteer, who seemed to travel along with them in their tour, told us to form two lines. One for general admission, and one for VIP. So I moved in the VIP line. 

The doors opened fifteen to twenty minutes late. I handed my ticket to the volunteer so that he could scan the bar code. Another person, who was a friend or colleague of Wong Fu Productions, stamped two red stars on the back of my left palm as a sign that I've bought a VIP ticket. Wes and Jen were setting up "Yappie" merchandise on a table at the other side of the lobby. Phil said that they were just getting everything ready, so please be patient. I nodded in reply, and I swore I could hear my heart beating nervously out of my chest. Holy crap, my Wong Fu fan mode was on fire! Good thing I managed to maintain my composure. Anyways, I was first in line to buy the merchandise. I bought two of the "Remodel Minority" shirts, because I wanted to give one to my friend, Angela Hu. She is also a big Wong Fu fan, and I wished she could come with me to the event. Sadly, the tickets were all sold out in a week or so. Plus, she wasn't sure of her schedule. I wanted to give her something from Wong Fu Productions, so I thought the shirt would be perfect. 

Angela, if you're reading this, hope you like the shirt! And your welcome! ;) 

After buying the two shirts, I entered the theater which was a big room with comfy red chairs and a gigantic red curtain covering the cinema screen. Once all of the seats were filled up, Phil and Wes welcomed us with a friendly and funny speech. It turned out that they arrived in Vancouver two hours ago. They looked tired and jet lagged, but they kept everyone pumped up and ready to watch all five episodes of their latest show, "Yappie" in one setting. Phil was even surprised when the curtain rose up automatically once the lights went off and the Wong Fu Productions logo flashed in front of us. I think he said "Whoa! This is the first time we are in a theatre with a curtain!" or something. 

Phil was happy that we all gathered together to indulge in the experience of watching a Wong Fu series on a cinema screen, and I agree that it's different that watching at home. All our eyes were fixed on an independent YouTube creation displayed on a rectangular canvas. It's just wonderful technology magic. Plus the sounds were just much clearer. Best of all, I found myself laughing with the audience as we reacted to the funny scenes together. 

The screening ended more than an hour later. Phil and Wes started the Q&A session, and they were hit off with some pretty deep questions. One of the questions is about comments from some people who thinks that the show "Yappie" portrays the negativity of Yappies. My favourite line from Wes is "Your career doesn't define you. Your relationship doesn't define you. You define yourself." This struck me the most, because from what I see, we humans are identified through our status in our family, circle of friends, school, work, and anything else that makes us commit for the rest of our lives. We think we should follow expectations from people around us and the world we live in. However, if we can change that mindset, we can instead define ourselves through our personalities, and not merely just our priorities. We all have passion for something. We all have interests for something other than just the labels relating to our race, religions, and jobs. We all have traits that make other people want to stick with us, to be inspired and motivated, to be involved in future memories with us. 

One of the things this new Wong Fu show touches on is interracial relationships, and I applaud Wong Fu Productions for revealing this on YouTube. I think interracial relationships are beautiful. Even though interracial couples may face difficulties in culture acceptance, communication with their parents, and whatnot, I highly respect them for talking their concerns with each other and finding ways to prevent misunderstanding. They choose to be together, because they love each other. They fall in love for their likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, and just all of the little jewels that make them shine as a human being. And it's these things that make their relationships long-lasting and compatible. Brett and Jessica are the example of this. After Brett realized that he has yellow fever, he couldn't stop worrying about it. His idea of setting up a blind date for Andrew and one of his white friends was kinda ridiculous, but in the end he was happy that Andrew decided to date Kaleena, a half black and half Japanese dance instructor. It also opened a path for Andrew, because he learned that it didn't matter if he's dating someone from a different race. Kaleena did want Andrew to "care for [her] being black", but she also wanted him to love her as a person ("Yappie" episode 4). 

This show also shows the importance of people from all backgrounds to come together. The third episode of "Yappie" reveals Andrew who realizes that Asians of different ethnicity are separated, especially in his own workplace. Andrew encouraged his colleagues to combine their budgets and work together to make the Asian Pacific Heritage Month event possible for all Asians to celebrate the histories and achievements the Asian community has contributed. And in the last episode of "Yappie", Andrew wished that he could take action to encourage people to understand one another. Kaleena's line touches me deeply, which is "We need to listen to one another more" ("Yappie" episode 5). I wholeheartedly agree with her, because I believe that we need to hear each other out, to root for each other, and to work together to make our community better. I wasn't aware of the inequality Canadians face until I took Communication courses in Capilano University. I regretted for not contributing a lot in discussions or verbal activities about racial and political issues, but I was amazed by how open and passionate everyone else were in talking about their concerns and how they want to make a change for a better Canada. I thought I wasn't really a part of these things since I have only lived in Canada for six years, but the more I hear about these issues, the more I become aware that Canada is still in the works of making all nations feel equal and respected. And even though Canada is a multicultural country, there are still news about people being mistreated. If more of us in this country are willing to voice out and fight, maybe we can make a change. 

"Remodel minority" is a term created by Andrew in the series. Instead of labeling us Asians as the model minority, I agree with Andrew that we should be called "remodel minority" instead. We can be the change makers who care about reaching out to people and having a voice to fight for what we believe is right. If I have the chance to go back to school, I would be very much obliged to write a scholarly research paper about this, because I think introducing this term would be revolutionary for people to know that the Canadian community has to change. 

Okay that's enough of my scattered thoughts about my impression with the series. XD

At the end of the event, Wong Fu Productions had a meet n' greet session. I was in the VIP line, and I tried my best to control my excitement. The shorter the line got, the more I felt my heart was going to explode. Finally, when it was my turn, I passed my phone to the Wong Fu volunteer with my shaky right hand. Phil was about to shake my hand when I handed him my gift. His face lit up and said, "Aww thank you! You're so sweet!" Eeeeep! That was my inner squeal. He placed the bag of snacks on a chair nearby and shook hands with me. #fangirlinheaven. I then asked him to sign my "Yappie" card, and Wes signed it too. He didn't say a word to me, but it didn't really matter, because I know that he's a shy guy. I could tell that Wes was happy though. And after they signed my card, the volunteered took a photo of me sandwiched between Wes and Phil. It felt OMG so surreal! When they thanked me and moved on with the next fan in the lineup, it took a while for me to collect myself and to remember everything that happened at that very moment. The moment I met one of my biggest inspiration. 

There's so many things I love about this YouTube channel. Each member in the Wong Fu team is very talented and genuine. They all know how to tell good, real, and relatable stories through videos. But most importantly, they represent the Asian commmunity as a group of people who transforms creative ideas and untouchable, interesting topics into enjoyable and meaningful content. They really have inspired me to never give up on my dreams of being a creative person and to use my own creativity to inspire others. I will continue to support them. <3 Wong Fu 4 Lyfe! 

It All Started With A Notebook (Tips on how to get started to write and how to be a writer)

"You're so talented."
"I don't think I can write. I have no talent."
"I wish I can be like you."
"I used to write, but I don't think I have the skill."

These are some of the responses I got from several of my friends after I tell them that I write poetry and fiction whenever I have time. I'm flattered whenever they comment on how good my writing is, but my face fell when they say they can't be good in writing. I know that not all of us are born with a creative mind. However, I honestly feel that anyone can be a writer. Whether you're a student who is terrible at math, a single mother who wants to pour your feelings out, a traveler who wants to record down every single moment of your journey in words, or the reader of this blog post (yes, you!), you can be a writer! Even when you used to write and you don't feel like getting back on track, it's not too late for you to start all over!

So you may ask. How? Before I give you my tips on how to get started to write or to get back to writing, you need to promise yourself that you will commit yourself to write. You need to tell yourself that you want to write. Cassey Ho from Blogilates (fitness instructor on YouTube) once says, "Don't think of working out as a chore. Think of it as a commitment." So I take her advice and apply this to my writing. Don't think of writing as a priority. Think of writing as something that you love and want to do, and you may want to squeeze as much time as you can in your schedule to write.

So without further due, here are my tips/steps to help you get started to write or to help you get back on track in writing!

Notebooks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. Get yourself a notebook 

I love notebooks! Every time I go to a bookstore, I would not only browse through novels at the teen section and sometimes the manga section, I would also look at the notebooks. Once I look at a notebook with a decorative pattern or an inspirational quote on the cover, I can hear my debit card screaming at me to buy it. I urge myself not to buy any more notebooks, because I literally have seven notebooks (two of them are not in the picture above). But I can't wait to use all of these notebooks to write whatever that comes to my mind, even when I travel after I graduate (very soon!). 

Anyway, a notebook is a very important tool! If you get a notebook with a good amount of pages (and not those cheap, small ones), you will have plenty of space for you to transfer your thoughts and ideas from your head to paper. A notebook is your canvas for your inner voice to ignite.  

Put your notebook and pen on desk!

2. Put your notebook and a pen on your desk. Don't put it away!

If you want to start writing, you have to do this! Even if your Macbook and textbooks take over your study table, at least save a space for your notebook. This baby of yours needs a companion anyways. ;) Unless if you REALLY don't have enough space, then you can put your notebook on top of your things in your desk drawer. Just don't abandon it! 

Time for a writing warm up!

3. First write-up! Impromptu time! 

Whether you have a packed schedule or not, I recommend you to open your notebook and start writing! Give yourself three to five minutes to write whatever you're thinking of. Whether it's about your shitty day at work or a scene from a recent drama you've binge-watched, you can write whatever you want! Don't mind the grammar and word length and how messy your handwriting is. Even the punctuation! Make it into a long run-on sentence!This is a free write, so don't stress yourself too much! If you're stuck during those 5 minutes, reread what you've written and try to continue, or flip to a new page and start a new paragraph. Ready? Set! Go!

List your ideas on a new page!

4. Go to a new page and jot down whatever ideas you have. 

Now think about your future writing. You may need a list of ideas so that you can keep track on what are you planning to write in the next few hours, days or weeks. What kind of ideas? It can be poetry, fiction, personal narrative (creative non-fiction/memoir chapter), dialogue for a play/film, blog entry, etc. Or it can be a few pages on random thoughts about a certain topic such as what if you won the lottery or what would you do if you want to travel to Korea. Ideas are endless, and once you write them all down, you can expand those ideas one by one to a longer piece of writing! 

But before you expand your ideas, look through your list of ideas and choose the ones you think you can expand on. Some ideas may not work for you, and some make you feel excited that you want to get started. So gather those ideas that you want to write in the next few pages! 

5. Set a time on your calendar 

Calendars are a lifesaver! They help you to track time and the tasks that you should do! So if you have a busy schedule, but you want to commit to write, set a writing time on your print calendars, agendas, or the calendar app of your phone. Give yourself a writing period, whether it's 3 to 5 minutes or even 10 to 20 minutes. You can have a writing time once per day, twice per week, or even once per week. As long as you promise yourself to keep your writing days consistent, then you will certainly take your writing seriously. 

And also, you can do baby steps! Start with one sentence or a few sentences per writing time. Then, you can move on to a paragraph per writing time. And then, one page. And then, several pages. You'll find yourself writing longer as you progress! One suggestion I can give you before you start writing is to create an outline. Break down your writing idea into points so that you'll know what things you want to include in your piece. 

6. Edit what you've written. 

Read what you've written on your first page. Look for grammar errors or anything else you think you should add or fix to make your writing better/easier to read. If you're unsure with grammar, ask someone who can help you to edit. Don't be afraid if you have mistakes! We all can learn from our mistakes! #life 

One thing I've learned from all of the creative writing classes I've taken in Douglas College and Capilano University is it takes lots (and I mean lots) of time for a writer to get his or her work published. The reason is it requires a lot of steps. After you've come up with a writing idea, you may have to create a draft first. Then, you will have to edit (or find someone to edit for you) more than once, because you'll have to reread your writing several times to make sure that there are no errors at all. You may also have to rewrite to make your writing sharper, and final edits to make it polished. Getting approval from a publishing company is another big hassle. I have not published a real book yet, so maybe when I finally do, I'll write a blog post about my experiences on how to get my book published. But what I've heard from my creative writing instructors is that you'll have to send your final piece of writing to as many publishers as you can till one of them loves your writing and wants you to be his or her client. Not everyone has similar tastes. A writer should not give up hope until one publisher will give you the call (but I'll save this for a future blog post XP). 

Schedule Inspiration!

7. Set a time to seek inspiration

If you still haven't think of how to start your writing idea, then you should find inspiration. As you can see from the photo above, I'm inspired by the "Schedule Inspiration" chapter in Lilly Singh's "How to be a Bawse" book. And I find this so true! It is possible to balance between priorities and leisure, because not only you can work and play at the same time, but you can also be inspired for your writing. In Lilly's chapter, she says, "I am busy creating my own content, but watching shows and movies has become part of my work (#blessedlife)...Watching the show wasn't JUST helping me relax-it was also helping me become better at my craft" (Singh, pp. 97). So you don't have to make an excuse that you're lazy or bored (unless you're procrastinating too much till you're cramming for an exam on the day before), because entertainment/relaxation is for inspiration for your commitment. 

Even if you don't have time to watch a movie or a drama series, you can just watch a short YouTube clip, read lyrics of a song you're curious about, or take a short stroll down the park in your neighbourhood. You will find yourself appreciating the little things in life, and you will eventually find inspiration to write. 

Here's one trick I use to get inspiration whenever I have writer's block. I would go to a cafe, order a cup of green tea latte and a pastry (green tea tiramisu/ coffee bun/ ice cream coffee bun/ vanilla-filled Stuffies (mini stuffed pancakes)), sit down at a table by one of the cafe's windows, have a sip and a bite, and allow the flavours sink in my system so that my soul can be satisfied and an idea will automatically appear in my head like a light bulb. Unlike writers who like writing while drinking coffee, a cup of tea and a plate of pastry are like fuel to my inspiration. 

So what are you waiting for? Grab your calendars and plan a time for your inspiration hunt now! 

Read, read and read!

8 Speaking of reading... 

Read as many books as you can! I know it's cliche, but it's a crucial tip! Whether it's print or online, books will help you see various styles authors use. Just like things that give you inspiration! You may have to pay attention to what words/phrases they use to help you visualize a scene or what kind of structure they use. Some follow rules of a format (e.g. a Sonnet) and some write freely. I recently am obsessed with fan fiction (guilty pleasure spilled. Thank you, K-Pop XD). I read a chapter of a story on Asianfanfics.com every night, and I would get so inspired by the plots and the writing techniques from hundreds of fanfic writers all around the world. Some of them write novel-length chapters, and some of them write simple one-shots. And thanks to them, I've written several fan fiction. The positive comments I receive from my subscribers encourage me to keep going. So feel free to explore as many genres as you can, so that you can see which genre suits your writing voice, personality and interest. And in this way, you will create your own writing style! 

9. Get help from writing buddies. 

Getting a group of aspiring writers to read your stories will help you tremendously, because they will share what they like about your piece and what they think you should add or fix to make your piece better. Having someone to read your work can be intimidating, but keep in mind that you will have an A-HA moment if your peers point out things that will get you excited to revise your writing. Even if someone can be nit-picky on your grammar mistakes, it's more important to take note on the suggestions to make your sentences more concise and your storytelling more believable. 

I thought I would be a shoo-in when I choose creative writing as my major in Douglas College,because I was praised by my mother, my English teachers and my friends for my writing. But guess what? I nearly give up on writing during the first few weeks of my first creative writing class. I had never received so many criticism in my life. The students in Introduction to Poetry class were so smart and talented. They seemed to know what they're writing about, and they were so knowledgeable in what makes a good poem. I didn't get to give feedback to them, because I couldn't think of any suggestions and their poems were way better than mine. However, one of my close friends in secondary school gave me a valuable slice of advice, and I still hold on to it today. She said, "Use your criticism as your weapon." Criticism may be a knife that is stabbed to your heart, but it's also a wand that will transform from your sandals to a pair of glass slippers. Once you apply your peers' feedback to your edits, you will be surprised by how much your writing has improved. When you register for a creative writing course, a writers' group online, or even a three-day writers' workshop, you have to go with an open mind and a humble heart. If you're too proud of your writing and your peers suddenly attack you with nothing but criticism, your confidence will shatter. You help each other in your writer circle to share the best suggestions and ideas as possible so that you will know what to edit and what to use in your future writing. That's killing two birds with one stone!

And it's not too late to keep on learning something new to experiment in your writing. When you want to try writing a completely different genre, don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. Find someone or something that will inspire you to get started! One of my favourite quotes is from Cassey Ho which is "always try to be better than you were yesterday." If we change and grow constantly, we will one day look back and see how much we've worked to become who we are. Never stop learning! Never stop improving!

10. Have fun! 

You're inhaling inspiration, and you're exhaling words on paper. Writing helps you to spill whatever you're thinking or feeling. But most importantly, writing is something that you should enjoy, because you're setting your imagination alive. Writing comes naturally! You'll just have to keep on practicing and practicing until you've earned the skill. You will get better in writing, and you will see yourself grow as a writer. One last quote I want to share with you is from Henry Lau, Taiwanese born Canadian who is a member of the Mandarin sub-unit of Super Junior. He says, "There are no geniuses in this world. It's all about effort." You don't have to be a genius at writing. You just have to work hard on your writing so that you can be better. :) 

I'm rooting for you! Good luck! <3 

Michele Hii. 

References

Singh, Lilly. How to be a Bawse. Doubleday Canada, Canada.